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Any advice on a child we're adopting with ADHD?

We are adopting 3 girls, the 7 yr old has ADHD and it is very obvious she has this problem. The thing is, when they came for their visit this weekend foster mom didn't pack the meds. Well, she tells me Saturday, "I can be bad and not get in trouble because I don't have my medicine." I told her that she knows right from wrong and she WILL get in trouble if she does something wrong. It was her crutch all day, and her excuse for bad behavior as well. Now, I know that without her meds it is harder for her to control herself. But I'll be damned if she is going to ignore me because "I don't have my medicine so I can't help it". Any ideas on what in the world I can do about this? (Other than checking 2 to make sure the meds are packed!) I don't want this to happen again, but I don't want her to think she can get away with bad behavior if she does miss a dose. Her behavior is like night and day when she is on or off her meds. Help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • I don't really know what advice to give u, but i did want to mention to u, that kids with adhd, can qualify for ssi benefits

    Answer by sylvia-ann at 4:07 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • My friend's little boy tried to use that excuse on me when I watched him. I just explained that even though it was harder for him to control himself, there were still consequences for his actions, and I made sure to follow through. The thing is, one day she will not have an adult around to pack her meds for her, and she will be fully responsible for taking them and controlling her behaviour. It's not realistic now to expect that of her, but the foundation for that has to be laid now.

    Answer by mamapotter at 4:22 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Both of my boys have ADHD. Stand firm with her that ADHD does not excuse her behavior. I tell my kids all the time that ADHD makes it harder for them to be good, but it does not make it impossible. I explain that they just have to take an extra second or two to think before they act. Mine are on meds, too, so I know all about the different between on and off meds. Sounds like foster mom or someone has told her that ADHD is an excuse, just like she is using it. Don't let her get away with it. It will be a struggle, I won't lie, and there will be days you may cry at the end of the day b/c you're so frustrated and stressed, but keep telling her what you're telling her. Be firm with discipline, don't let her get away with anything. It'll work. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 4:36 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • ADHD is hard to deal with. Just remember that she may have a hard time to concentrate on what you are trying to tell her. watch the red dyes in Kool aid and foods. that will not help any. it is something to look into on over dosing on sugar. it may sound funny but the meds for Hyperactivity is basically speed, what it does is over loads them on energy and mellows them out. talk to a doctor on it too. It is really hard to deal with it. I was dealing with my step-brother at one time and i wanted to strangle him, keep in mind i was 16 at the time, but i spent more time with him and he did better as one on one but he was also looking for attention from his father. good luck with it.

    Answer by firedragoneyes at 7:44 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Research ADHD and find alternatives to ''treating'' it.. like diet, etc.. a lot of ADHD symptoms are found linked to kids with high amounts of Red 40 in the diet....

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I have 2 kids with ADHD and I refuse to give them any medication. They know the rules of the house, and they are to follow them. They do follow them, sometimes they need to be reminded, but having ADHD is not an excuse.

    Answer by MarshaB702 at 12:41 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I would just be consistent in that she is accountable for her actions.

    I agree with PP though, that its important to limit or cut out completely artificial food dyes and sugar. Try more natural forms of sweetener.

    I've found success in alternative therapies and homeopathic remedies such as, omega 3 supplements, adding flax seed into food, having a high protein breakfast, taking Focus by Solaray, and a homeopathic Calm liquid formula....these have all helped my youngest.

    Answer by MommaLucy at 5:31 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

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