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What would you do?

Would you date a man if he has 1 child and a possible? When I say possible...i mean. He dont have proof that the child is his. He asked the girl for a test and she refuse but the child has another man last name but she is saying that the child is his. He wants to be in this child life but the mother has changed her # and refuse to give it to him. He has stated that I dont have to worry about anything...BTW the child is 3. We were out and she called but she called private but since he dont answer private calls especially after 1am. Well, she left a msg talking abt the kid wanted to talk to him and how come he dont call anymore...she did changer her # and refuse to give him a DNA test. The reason I asked what would you do because in my mind that has nothing to do with me so I dont get in it. He asked me what he should do and I told him that he needs proof be4 he start taking care of someone else child. What would you do or say?

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mom42107

Asked by mom42107 at 1:35 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,080 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I agree. He does need proof before taking care of someone else's child. I would be careful with him. It sounds like there is drama and you don't want that in a relationship. There are other fish in the sea!
    Mindy8210

    Answer by Mindy8210 at 1:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • No i wouldn't. WAY too much baggage
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Move.

    That's what I'd do. I'd move to somewhere nice and warm, and have an unlisted phone number. I might even change my name.

    Ignore her. Ask him why he's determined to live in the possible past. Get on with your own life and what is important to you.

    Crazy people are hard to shed. Best to follow my friend's advice: never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Well I would want it taken care off. Get a test done and see if its his or not. If she doesnt want that try if you can do anything by law. If the child has a different mans last name, the other man probably is in the birth certificate as the dad.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 1:38 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • he can court order a paternity test if he really thinks he's he father.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:44 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think he told me because he wanted to make sure that I knew just in case we became serious....I respect that about him because he didnt have to tell me the whole story...But before I make any decision I think I will tell him to make sure that he gets that test done before we move to another level. I have a lil girl and her father got a test on her because I put him on CS and her was fine with it and so was I. But me and my daughter father agreed that we should do the test....just to have everything on paper so he can put his name on her birth certificate. He figures that if she need him to step up she would do the one simple thing and get the DNA test done. He even asked her ans she said that its unneccessary to do since she knows that the child is his....she is a compusive liar to.
    mom42107

    Comment by mom42107 (original poster) at 1:45 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • No, there's too much drama wrapped up in that.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:48 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • since she doesn't want the test done and i think it's because it's not his. i mean like most and like me i would want to prove him it was his to have the proof. he can go to court and take her to court to make her get the test done. i would have him ask her to pay for it and if he is the father then he would have to repay her for the cost of the testing. good luck. if he was a nice guy i wouldn't let this stop me.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:53 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would tell him its better to be in the childs life and find out that she isnt his than to not be there and find out she is his b/c the he would have missed out on time watching her grow up. and being a part of her life. If he isnt the parent she would have to repay him for everything. tell him to write a check and not give her cash and to keep reciepts. the child may have the other guys last name b/c she thght it was his at first n maybe they did a DNA test already call maury. if you go to county they can find her n order her to give a dna test.
    jazmya_mom

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 2:01 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • @ jazmya mom..he has spent time with the lil boy and even brought him clothes and shoes. The last time he went home she would not let him get the lil boy unless she was with him. So he told her if he was my son then it should not be a problem.
    He is a great father and he will not send no more than a 100 a month because he send clothes and shoes all the time. On top of that his mother is in the same state and county and if his kids need extra he would send the money to his mother and ask her to go get the items that the child needs. He dont believe in giving the mothers cash
    mom42107

    Comment by mom42107 (original poster) at 2:06 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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