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How do I get along with my 15 year old? adult content

My mother raised my daughter since she was 6. Since then she has become quite aggresive verbally & physically. My daughter gets face to face with my parents & now she's doing it to me. We have gotten physical twice & I just don't know what to do because she won't see a doctor about her issues. She won't let me ground her or tell her what to do, basically she does what she wants to & tells me what to do. HELP!!

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AuntyCrystal

Asked by AuntyCrystal at 1:38 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • wow, at 15 the damage is done, if you have gotten physical you have showed her disrespect too, other than counseling I do not think you can do much now.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:40 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • you need to be more firm take her TV, cell phone, computer, etc (anything valuable to her) away until she learns to listen you are the adults and should not be allowing her to get in your face to begin with if she yells yell back if she walks out the door after you told her she cant call the police that will teach her to listen to the adults my parents did all that with me and i turned out just fine maybe even better than if they had let me do what i wanted
    nandy90

    Answer by nandy90 at 1:41 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Why did your mother raise YOUR child? Maybe she's got a lot of hate in here because you didn't take care of her..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:43 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I agree. She clearly has a lot anger, hate, and resentment in her for her situation. That her grandparents raised her and not her mother. She needs to see someone about it. I think it's time to stop being bullied by a fifteen year old and take her whether she wants to or not. You are her parent, and her grandparents are her authority as well. Neither of you should allow this behavior from her.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:45 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I agree with mandy90. You are her parent you can make her go to counseling. I have learned to pick my battles with my 15 yr old. and our relationship is alot better then it was a year or two ago. You and your parents have to take control again. I would honestly seek counseling. If she gets physical call the police. Good luck to you
    mandynjohnsmom

    Answer by mandynjohnsmom at 1:45 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • As a grandmother raising grandchildren I can tell you first hand there is a lot of anger and bitterness toward the biological parents. They love us, they know they are safe here. My GD especially is SOOO very angery at her Mother. She rarely calls, hasn't had physical contact in over 3 years.
    I suspect your 'daughter' has many of the same issues. Kids being raised by people other than their parents tend to have issues, including anger, abandonment and fear. You both need counseling I suspect. You can't discipline her..she doesn't see you as her Mom.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:48 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I agree GrnEyedGrandma!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:49 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • "We teach people how to treat us". It sounds like your mother and father have permitted her to engage verbally with them instead of them utilizing parental authority. May I ask why they raised your daughter? How long did they raise her for and were you an active participant in her life all along or just recently? Either way, regardless, if you are the parent, she needs to learn boundaries and respect. If you are raising her now, and you want her to go to the doctor or ground her, you can't give in to her and allow her to set the rules. If she is that uncontrollable, she needs to be in therapy for an evaluation. You need to use tough love with her as much as possible. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 6:33 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • If someone rejected and abandoned me at 6 I'd be aggressive too. No matter the reasons for her being raised by your parents, this is how it's going to feel to her. Family therapy.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:21 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I agree with many of the answers here. She is angry because you did not raise her during her formative years and every time you try to disipline her it makes her more angry. I am raising my cousin so I know how angry and hyper they can get. It can be hard. Pick a time when she is calm and try to talk to her about it. You may benefit from talking to a therapist that is familiar with these types of parenting problems for advice on how you can improve your relationship. Good luck.
    stamm

    Answer by stamm at 9:21 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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