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OMG! I just got a call from DS's school, an older boy touched his penis! adult content

Hi ladies,, today is my day off, and just got a call from and went to school, my DS (in kindergarten) was in the bathroom, and a 4th grader touched his penis, and said I have one of those too! Billy did the right thing and told his teacher, but husband is making a deal, I think the child who touched him, needs to be spoken too, but asking for a suspension it WAY to much, I think the boy needs to be spoken to about good touch/bad touch, and perhaps there is something going on at HIS house that needs to be investigated, husband is mad as heck, on his way home,, need to diffuse this situation as soon as possible!!!!!! I want my son (Billy) to not dwell on this at all, and husband is out for blood at the moment,,,he will be here in 45 minutes, can you help me?


Asked by kimigogo at 1:50 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • *4th grade. sorry. son doesn't have to be traumatized. You praise him for doing the right thing. Tell him you will take care of it and let it go. Handle the stuff with the school out of eye and earshot of your son. Dad HAS to be calm in front of his child...even seething furious...he has to be in control or it will hurt his child more than the touch itself ever could.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:58 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I'm really surprised that in 4th grade, they have not learned bout good touch/bad touch.

    I would not worry so much right now. what if the boy who touched him has learning disabilities, or what if he honestly didn't know that what he was doing is wrong. I would definitely want someone to investigate this boys parents though, because you're right....there is always that possibility that he learned it from somewhere. I don't think this will scar your son, i had a boy in 1st grade rub his penis on me in the playground. I just turned around & he was right there, then ran away laughing. Someone dared him to do it (he thought it was funny...heh) I'm not that messed up. I think about it now & think "OMG, what a brat i should have kicked him".

    Just don't jump to any conclusions yet. The more you guys make of it in front of your child, the harder it will be on him. GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:56 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Wow, a 4th grader should know better, but I can see why dad is fuming! talk to him and explain that although this was totally unacceptable you do not want to make it a bigger deal than it is with your little one, tell him not to make this something he will forever remember as trauma, not caused by the touching but by dad.

    Answer by older at 1:53 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i can't blame your husband but like you said there needs to be some "further investigation" just to make sure there isn't anything weird going on with the other boy at home BUT as a 4th grader, he should know better (unless there is something going on with him at home) GL

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 1:52 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would be in the same boat as your husband honestly! But he needs to realize, the child probably didn't just pick that kind of behavior up.. I would want a meeting with the principal and the parents.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:52 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • A 4th grader should already clearly know this is WAY unacceptable behavior. I would want him suspended too. First offense, harsh consequence. No room for leniency here as far as I'm concerned. If it had been another kindergartner..fine talk to them both and move on. 5th way. Why were they even in the same bathroom? At our schools the restroom are clearly demarkacted so that older students and much younger kids are not in the same restroom together.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:54 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would be just like your husband if anyone touched my daughter like that. I believe than a 4th grader (10 yr old) would know the difference. A teen boy had asked my daughter to show her bellybutton when she was little. When I found out, I had her talk to an investigator. The boy was evaluated later on. My daughter is too sacred.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 1:55 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I should note that Billy ( my son) is okay, he just told the teacher and has gone on with his day,, I am all for talking to the other boy's mother, but just worried my husband will make such an issue of it tha my son gets funny or weird over it,I I am really not wanting punishment for the boy, just someone to help him,, I have an awful feeling that with this age difference (not like I will show you mine if you show me yours) something has happened to the older child,,,,Billy just told me,, Mom you said nobody is to touch me where my bathing suit is,, and then asked me ARE YOU MAD??? I said no honey go back to class, you did the right thing,, worried that husband is gonna make such and issue that he wouldn't speak up the next time!!!

    Comment by kimigogo (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Ok...honestly I have to say I would probably feel the same way your husband does. I would be pushing for the parents to be called to the school, a CPS investigation to be started (because 80% of children who touch and or sexual abuse other children were sexually abused themselves), and possibley supsension depending on what the outcome was of the other issues. This is COMPLETELY inappropriate and honestly I think it IS A BIG DEAL.

    SO it was just touching this time...what happens the next time this kid is in the bathroom with a younger boy? Sexual assalt? Rape?

    I can completely understand where your SO is coming from.

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 1:57 PM on Nov. 15, 2010