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Adoption info?

Have you ever adpoted? how was it? we have a birth son and hope to one day adopt a little girl... we knew that we did not want more children from ourselves but we wanted to adopt... can you give any info about it and what it was or is like?

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jaksonsmommy

Asked by jaksonsmommy at 1:52 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,610 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I am adopted and I have also adopted domestically. We had a wonderful experience We went through a private agency. We found a small agency that only serviced 2 states so it was 1/2 the price. That lowers your chances which stinks. We were told because we were much younger than most adopting parents and my adoption would give a big edge. let me rewind a bit. If you choose to adopt from a private agency you are chosen by the birthparent from a series of profiles they view. it is not a first come first serve basis. Therefor there is no rhyme or reason as to when you might be chosen. We brought home our newborn son exactly 9 months from the date we handed in all the paperwork. i will say there is ALLOT of paperwork and your privacy is completely violated. Your health is thoroughly checked and there is both a federal and state background check done. cont
    coolchic320

    Answer by coolchic320 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • cont. Each state has different laws and international is also different. I will also add that you wil receive $13,500 as a tax credit from the government if you make under the salary cap (it's pretty high..something like $200k). You can also adopt from foster care as well. This is generally free but we felt it was too much heartache for us. We had already had been dissapointed after trying for 8 years to get pregnant we couldn't handle any more drama. If you want to chat please send me a note!! GL!!
    coolchic320

    Answer by coolchic320 at 2:52 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Our dd is adopted from China. She has been home for almost 4 years. If you want information about IA, let me know...there is way too much to type in this little space.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 8:19 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • "The Adoption Resource Book" by Lois Gilman is a great source of information on the overall process of adoption, different options, issues, etc. We found it to be a great place to start. We adopted domestically in 2007 via an agency. Our experience was very smooth although we waited just under 2 yrs. I won't say it was easy but we didn't hit any real problems.
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 7:08 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • My husband and I have adopted. It was really easy giving the fact that the birth mother (a cousin of mine) gave *Emily to me and told me Merry Christmas. Was hard to swallow but my cousin isn't the mother type. Even though she has a baby every year. She doesn't have any of her children and she's pregnant with her sixth. It was an open adoption but the Bio's didn't really care, as long as they were free of her they were fine.
    If you are considering an open adoption. Don't! If you don't have to.
    It's so hard for the child and the Bio's. Hard on the child because they might be really confused if contact is consistent over a long period of time. And for the Bio mother, she might end up regretting her decision and make it really hard for things to work out like you planed. May I ask why you chose to adopt if you can have a child of your own?
    EmilysMommy04

    Answer by EmilysMommy04 at 2:04 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • My SO got a vasectomy which we had agreed on because we thought we didnt want more... but i came to regret the decision and we talked about adoption before... and decided that we should try adopting a child who needs a home and love rather than go through the process of reversal of the vasectomy... i have wanted to adopt since i was young... so we have one kiddo who will be 2 next month... and i want him to have a brother or sister to grow up with and so we can have another child.
    jaksonsmommy

    Comment by jaksonsmommy (original poster) at 12:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I am both adopted and an adoptive parent. I adopted domestically, siblings- a boy and a girl, after they were removed from their bio home due to severe abuse and neglect. What was it like? The process was difficult, but manageable. The transition can be difficult for older children, to assimilate into a new environment and a new family. The issues may be deeper than you know at the time the adoption is finalized. Expect it to take longer than you expect.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 6:46 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I am adopted and being adopted is very hard on the child. Learn as much as you can so you can help and understand what they are going through. I had the most loving and wonderful parents in the world and I still felt unloved and unwanted. I guess it is from being given away at birth. I have had so many emotions to work through. I was a very angry child and did not understand why. If my parents kenw about adotion they could have helped me. I wish it would have been an open adoption then I would have known I was wanted and loved from the start.
    I placed my son for adoption 19 years ago and now see he has gone through the same things I have. His aparents are wonderful people and love him so much but he still feels unwanted and unloved. Learn from all sides of adoption, Firstmom's and adoptees will tell you how hard all of this really is.
    ChrissyH

    Answer by ChrissyH at 9:10 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

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