As some of you know, my son was exposed to meth for the entire prenatal period. We adopted him at 4 weeks, and he is 27 months now. He has some significant developmental delays in speech and cognition. He is having visits from a speech therapist three times a month to help him catch up. I am wondering what I should tell his birth mom. She chooses not to have face-to-face visits right now, so our contact is letters, pictures, and the occasional phone calls and e-mail. I don't want her to think I am hiding anything from her, but I also don't want her beating herself up over decisions that cannot be changed. She feels horrible about using during pregnancy.
Has anyone else dealt with this issue in an open adoption? Please, I hope not to see mean comments about what she did. I wish she hadn't, but so does she. We are moving forward and trying to help a precious little boy.
Answer by Southernroots at 12:20 AM on Nov. 16, 2010
Answer by Roadfamily6now at 2:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2010
Answer by frogdawg at 6:32 PM on Nov. 15, 2010
You know her best.I think you have the correct idea; kind of a need to know basis.I suspect she will eventually, if not sooner, put it all together on her own..If she is working on sobriety she is already aware of the destruction she has caused around her.She needs to become and stay sober so that if your son should need to know things from her she will be able to answer him.Purposely setting her back serves no purpose.You are on the right track in my opinion.Good wishes for your son!!!
Answer by drfink at 6:19 PM on Nov. 15, 2010
Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:27 PM on Nov. 15, 2010
Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 11:50 PM on Nov. 15, 2010
Answer by momofryan07 at 7:05 PM on Nov. 16, 2010
Answer by louise2 at 2:41 PM on Nov. 15, 2010
Answer by SMWOODS at 2:45 PM on Nov. 15, 2010