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So I'm being selfish. Who else has felt like this though? I just want my friend to keep her child away from mine!

I have a friend with a 7 year old that is just horrid. We've been friends for 15 years and I hate to say that. The kid has no friends left at school because of the way she treats people. Even other children of friends, kids that have known her her whole life, don't want anyone to know they know her. Staff, friends, even counseling can't help the mother out. It all boils down to her and she knows it. Yet she makes the same selfish mistakes over and over, knowing they're mistakes and that they aren't doing a thing to help her kid grow. I don't have much to do with her anymore, not many friends give her too much time over it. She is now signing her child up for a club that my child belongs to. I don't want her there!! It's not like I own the thing or am most important. I just literally am at the point where I hate to see her coming. :( UGH. I feel like the kids do , I don't want to know them in public either.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Is her daughter ADHD? My son is very, very difficult without his meds. He's, well, extremely ADHD. He can be difficult even on them.
    I don't see how what you feel is selfish, I'd feel the same way, really. So, she gets fed up with the behavior, seeks advice and follows it for a while. Does the advice work? But then she just gives up on the tactics? Yeah, I can see how that's frustrating. Especially since she knows that's why her daughter lost friends, and she's lost friends. But, there's really nothing you can do about it. Other then tell her you can't deal with her daughters behavior, and how she just, well, doesn't do enough about it. She really doesn't. From what you said, it's not for a lack of people trying to offer advice. She just won't listen. You don't sound like a shitty friend, you sound like one that just doesn't know what to do anymore. IDK what else to say.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:57 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • You're friend doesn't realize this problem?

    Answer by NicholeAT at 3:33 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • She notices. It will get to a certain point of "bad" and she'll go seeking advice. She will get the same advice she's already been given, use it for a couple of weeks, then just stop. It's crazy.

    I hope you're right Linda, if she acts up I hope they deal with it. Her mom isn't real crazy about EC type things anyhow so maybe it won't last long at all.

    That's the part I know I'm being selfish about, not wanting the child at the activity. It could be great for her. I'm just tired of watching it quite honestly. =(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:44 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Thank you Raine. Her daughter is not ADHD. She is on great behavior when I have had her on her own, or when others have. Other than the way she treats her peers school is even a place that she is "better" at. The minute mom comes into the picture though all hell breaks loose.

    Musicmom80, I am very much her friend. I have stuck with her through things I don't have enough space on here to explain to you. I have taken care of that child when no one else would help her out. It is exhausting to pour yourself into helping someone you've cared about for a long time just to have them not give a crap and not do anything to help themselves. It is especially hard when you are watching it take a toll on their child and in turn it starts taking a toll on other kids and your relationship with the person. Never experienced that? GOOD. This question wasn't directed towards you or your perfect relationship type friends then. :)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:10 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Ohhhh, believe me. My best friend is far from perfect. And has put herself in some pretty big pickles. I never said I or my friends were perfect, so I can see how quickly you assume things about others just by one post. I can't imagine how much you have assumed about your frien in real life. I just don't sit here and break down the details of my best friends parenting to every tom dick and harry on the internet to pass the time. What did you seek to accoplish by posting this? Hmmmm?

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 5:18 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • So, invite your friend out to drinks at a local pub --after bedtimes.

    If this child is the problem you believe she is, the club will have her out of there sooner rather than later... no club needs kids who make others leave.

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:31 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Wow, you really aren't her friend if you are on here posting such insensetive stuff about her child, and being really judgemental towards her as a parent. Who are you to say her child is beyond help?. It's attitudes like this that make it even harder for them. Unless you are there 24 seven you don't know jack. Why don't you just end the friendship altogether seeing as it's going that way anyway. I hope your friend reads this post. I would NEVER post something so rude and insensetive about my friend let alone her child. If you don't approve of her, simply end the relationship.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 4:30 PM on Nov. 15, 2010