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To distract or to discipline - that is my question

Dh and I disagree. We have a 3 y/o DS. DH thinks that when DS is acting up about something (leaving the park for example) that we should distract him with something ("if we leave we can go get ice cream"). I disagree, if he is sassing about something he should be scolded/punished (stand in the corner).

What is your approach?

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JCB911

Asked by JCB911 at 4:49 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 4 (51 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Discipline. Sounds like your husband is rewarding bad behavior...if he is giving ice cream.
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 4:51 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Find his "currency" which is that thing that is most important to him. Withhold it when he does not listen or misbehaves. Every child has a "currency". Be united with your husband how you will handle different situations so the child doesn't start playing one of you against the other. Also, make sure he is getting enough one on one time with you and DH. And he is priased when he does things right.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:14 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • A little bit of both. It depends on the situation.
    crazy4u49033

    Answer by crazy4u49033 at 5:26 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Personally neither, for one timed warnings will help with the fussing. I give my DD 10 or 15 minutes and then I will remind her at each 5 minute interval and than usually 2 minutes if I notice the time. She sometimes will still get upset and I will tell he that the time we are wasting arguing over this is cutting into her bike riding/bath/television/story time. It is only something that we already do for her bedtime or night routine. Sometimes I might have to take away something like a book or 15 minutes of cartoons but this happen rarely since she knows I will do it.
    daisysrdeadly

    Answer by daisysrdeadly at 8:42 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I always say let the punishment fit the crime. Not wanting to leave the park is something that most kids are going to want to give you fits with. I will tell my daughter when we are going, "we are going to the park and we will be staying for an hour (just and example) when it is time to go, we are going to go, if you give me a hard time, the next time you want to go to the park we will not go because if you do not listen to me, I will not listen to you". There has been an occasion that I have had to remind her of what I said when I say it is time to go and she begins but she always stops and thinks about it and we are able to move on from there. Good luck Momma, I hope you find what works for you.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 9:29 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I never like to reward bad behavior but sometimes I have told my son that if he leaves the park for example with out whining then I will let him watch his fav movie when we get home, but if he whines and throws a fit then he goes in time out as soon as we get home. Then I follow through. I think it all depends on the situation.
    mindi6103

    Answer by mindi6103 at 1:35 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Never reward bad behavior. You're the parent...if you keep distracting the child, there will never be any real consequences to their actions and, in the future, those bad actions may hurt them. Discipline all the way.
    mainemusicmaker

    Answer by mainemusicmaker at 5:50 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • i think definitely disipline. the only time i will distract him is when he is being left out of something. like going to the movies when his siblings are going. but always disipline. for example if i said its time to go its time to go. i should have to explain myself to my 3yr old
    i hope that makes sense.
    cuteness13983

    Answer by cuteness13983 at 6:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

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