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Help with dicipline

I've done everything: talked to, loved on, spanked, time-out, grounding, chores. Nothing seems to be showing my son that I mean business when it comes to being nice to the other members of this family. He is rude and disrespectful to both my husband and I. He is mean and hateful to his two younder brothers. Right now it is 4:50pm and I have sent him to bed. I just don't want to yell, spank, or even put him in time-out anymore because I just can't stand figure out what to do with him. Any new dicipline ideas out there???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • You need to be absolutely consistent. Find his "currency" which is the one thing that is most important to him. Withhold that as punishment. Give him one warning and then take it away for an appropriate length of time. Follow through. Every child has a "currency". This is what worked best for us

    Time outs usually work also but you need to give the warning and then follow through. Lots of aprents give up on time out because the child has to be returned to the time out spot many times. It can take awhile until they comply. There should be no anger and no talking. Just keep returning the child to the spot.

    A friend of mine has a kindness chart in her home. The kids get points or stickers for doing the kind things on the chart and then after a week or two they get to go out to lunch, out for ice cream, or on a day trip.

    Running out of space so I will post a second answer...............
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:05 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Lastly, make sure he is getting enough one on one time with you and your DH. Lots of times the kids go for negative attention because they do not get enough positive attention. Make sure he is praised when he does things right and knows he is loved and special no matter what. I wish your family all the best.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:07 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Elizabr seems to be on track. I have nothing to give but I read hers and agree with it. Good luck Momma I know how hard this must be for you.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 7:16 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I like elizabar's answer. Having a son of my own that had no "buttons" or "currency" as she put it, I know how challenging it is. Being consistent is the key to any kind of success! Good Luck to you!
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 8:43 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • No, no "new" ways to discipline. Consistency really is the key. Sure, it can be tiring to have to enforce the rules all the time - but the more you do it, the less you'll have to do it! You said you "tried everything" - but it sounds like maybe that jumping around from one punishment to another wasn't really the answer. The punishment needs to be consistent each and every time.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:59 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Sounds like your husband needs to be in on the discipline too.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 8:25 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • try keeping him busy with educational fun projects like crafts , puzzles etc. if all fails u should seek professional help for him there might be something bothering him on the inside and he could be lashing out as a way of dealing with whatever it is.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 4:00 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

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