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Time-outs for toddlers benefit no one but the mother

This is a quote from an article:

"When a toddler goes into a full-blown tantrum, sitting him on a naughty chair will accomplish nothing. He will not learn to calm himself down. He will not learn how to listen any better, or share his toys, or refrain from hitting or biting when he wants something. He will only learn that you pushed him away. Time-outs can create clingy, fearful, dependent children - the opposite effect of what good parenting tries to achieve. We want our children to be self-confident, out-going, independent thinkers, who will not easily succumb to peer pressure"

I have personally found that time-outs do in fact teach my toddlers the correct way to behave without destroying their self-esteem. What about you, do you agree with the article?

Answer Question
 
art.diva

Asked by art.diva at 6:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,824 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • Thats an outrageous statement. Time outs have always helped in our tantrum situations.

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 6:38 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Time-outs have been proven to work! This seems like another "vaccines cause autism" thing.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 6:39 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think that everyone has their own personal oppinon about how to or how not to dicipline children. I say do what you feel is best and ignore the rest.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:39 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i don't agree, i think that's just rubbish. i agree that every kid is different and learns in different ways. some need time outs, some do fine with just re-direction, others need a smack on the butt. nobody will ever agree with eachother and will always find ways to bring down people who discipline their child differently than they do. time-outs work just fine in this family, my 4 year old is very outgoing and talks nonstop all the time, thinks for herself (she's always throwing in her own opinion on things) i see no emotional repercussions from placing her in time-out when she was a toddler. good grief!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 6:40 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I strongly disagree with that article.... We have been using time outs very successfully with my 2 year old for close to a year now. He's very independent and completely fearless, but he's also very well adjusted, polite, and very rarely has a temper tantrum. So yeah, I'll be sticking with time outs, thanks!
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 6:44 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I have had success with time outs for my 2 year old DD. I have been using them for nearly a year and now I usually only have to threaten a time out if she doesn't modify her behavior. She usually complies and I don't believe has had a time out from me in a few weeks. I am never cruel to her for the purpose of discipline or otherwise, and at the end of time out I always ask for an apology and then I give her a hug. I don't think this ruins her self-esteem. I think it teaches her that if she acts inappropriately she will lose the things she enjoys and face a negative consequence. I think that is pretty similar to the way real life works. Now, I don't have a lot of experience yet with tantrums- the few she has had have been pretty mild, but if we can't work together to get her calmed down then she does go to the time out spot until she can settle herself down. Sometimes we all need to take a breather- I don't think that's bad.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 6:45 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think that this is a good debate. The reality is--different things work for different children and different parents. The other reality is--no matter what view point you have, you can find an article in some magazine that will most likely support your viewpoint.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:54 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i will say that i totally disagree with the title. How can time-outs benefit the mother? The mother in most cases is having to go back in forth making sure the kid even stays in time out or is sitting in time out. What is she getting a work out?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:55 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • A time out is simply removing your child from the situation in which his/her behavior is unnacceptable. How is that not beneficial?

    I'll say over and over until I'm blue in the face, even if I have to time out, over and over and over again, at least I showed my child that I have limits.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 7:03 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think time outs are a wonderful thing, and more than just for the mother! yes, it takes time teaching the child what the time out is for, but they do learn. its called setting limits and sticking to them!
    icn_mom

    Answer by icn_mom at 7:15 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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