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Should I go?

I am engaged to be married in March and a future inlaws don't want my fiance' to marry me or at least they didn't last time he was on speaking terms with them. We got engaged Sept of 2009 and from then to May, 2010 they tried all they could to covince him not to marry me and reffered to me as his gilfriend and wanted nothing to do with the wedding plans. He has not talked to them since May and we live together now. Now, his mom has asked him for us to come to Thanksgiving, he told me it is up to me. They were very nice to me and my 3 year old dd (not his) until we got engaged, then they were just plain rude. He said she and his dad seem sorry but they will never acutally say "sorry" to me or him. Should I just allow them the chance to start over, even though they treated me so badly, or should I stick to my guns and say that if they can't apoligize then I want nothing to do with them?


Asked by JLS2388 at 7:47 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Holidays

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Set up some boundries before you go with your fiance' before you go and stick to the plan. If they start in on the son about this relationship, is he strong enough to tell them that if they can't accept you than he is leaving? If he isn't strong enough, don't put him in that position. You only have to live with him, not your in-laws. Your fiance' comes first. Also, how is this going to effect your daughter? Will he protect you and her as well? Agree that if they bring up anything thats uncomfortable for either of you, that you will politely make your excuses to leave. Or don't say anything other than it's time for you to go. Ppl are funny when it comes to their children. They seem to think they have the right to run their lives. Remind them they were young. You both have a right to every happiness. If they don't want to share in it, as the bible says, "take your peace with you and shut the door." Their loss!!! Congratulations!

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 6:39 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • They will soon become ur family n ur sons family. Go but w conditions. Leave shortly after dinner. Don't overstay ur welcome. Next time ( if all goes well) stay a lil longer.

    Answer by Vero0724 at 7:51 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • i agree with the others.....go, give them another chance. Perhaps this time with no contact has shown them that their son's happiness is what's important. i would have an agreement with the fiancee tho, if any drama starts, we leave.

    i think the key issue here is that you have your fiancee's support!! That is wonderful, because a lot of people (male and female) will not stand up for the person they are involved with.

    GL to you and your family.

    Answer by inkydorei at 9:18 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I wouldn't, but I'm stubborn and unforgiving so you should probably go but make it a short trip

    Answer by AprylnAtticus at 11:20 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would say to go and be nice and don't give them any reason to be rude. By doing this, you would be the better person for it. But tell your husband that if for any reason that they start being rude that you want to leave. If he truly loves you then he will stand by you no matter what.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:47 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I wouldnt, I mean you go thinking maybe everything will be ok but maybe they just want to judge you and put you down some more. Or try to get back into their sons life so they can talk crap about you again. I wouldnt go until they at least say theyre sorry for all the hurtful things they have said. GL... PS I have lived this... Im sorry you have to go through this. Lets jsut hope she doesnt wear all white you your wedding. (sorry off subject, talking about my mil now :)) Again GL

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 7:51 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Yes, you should go. It is a chance to start over again with his family.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:52 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Yes you should go, be the bigger person, it will pay off in the end. At least then you can say you tried. If they are rude just quietly ask your fiance' if he's ready to go. GL, I know the holidays can be stressful...

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 7:55 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Go and be ready to leave if need be. Be a bigger person than them and hope for the best. (To forgive is divine)

    Answer by elizabr at 7:57 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • You need to do anything you can to get along with your in-laws. These people could be in your life for decades and anything you can do to make that pleasant will benefit you. I remember my first Thanksgiving at my MIL's. It was the day we announced our engagement. Everyone was so excited. Come dinner time I helped myself from the buffet and headed over to the beautifully set dining room table with the best china and crystal stemware. But, before I got there she said "Oh, you guys are sitting over there." and sent us to the formica kitchen table...the kids table. I have never, I mean never been so insulted in my entire life; I had just announced the most important decision in my entire life and then sent to the kids table.


    Answer by onethentwins at 7:58 PM on Nov. 15, 2010