Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How to get my 6yr old son, to behave in school?

I've been having a lot of issues with my son, he's in 1rst grade, he's very smart, advanced in reading and math, and loves to learn, but just does not listen. I'm at my wits end on what to do. I have done the talking calmly and asking what's wrong, the time outs, the yelling, taking away toys or privledges, I even have spanked, nothing is working! Today he got in trouble for spitting at another child becuase they we are the wrong table and wouldn't move. I don't know where he gets it, because we don't behave this way and niether does his brother or sister. I have to go it to a meeting on thursday with the principal, teacher, and counsler and am nervous. He's always had behavior issues even causing me to loose my job because of it. I don't want him to be put on meds, I feel that every thing that a child does nowadays, the answer somehow is they need meds, and I don't like it. Any advise please!!!

 
sheli2007

Asked by sheli2007 at 8:18 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 13 (1,357 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • How about rewarding him for behaving in school. If indeed he is advanced for his age he may be acting up because he is smart. My son did the same thing and acted up in class too but some teachers were more understanding than others about it all.They said he was smart but acted immature for his age but of course that would change as he got older.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 8:33 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • well forget meds (for now) 'cuz if he's tested and labeled you may be backed into a corner and lose some Mom power.

    Does he have any outlets outside school like scouts or karate or something?
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 8:21 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I agree no reason to jump into meds there are WAY to many other options to try first.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:23 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • They will give you and his teachers a set of questionnaires to fill out. The ques. will be reviewed by a school psychologist who will decide if there is any sort of diagnosis to make. IMPO getting an outside eval form a trained psychologist who will actually talk to and meet with your child is a better option but you would still have to do the school one. Have you ever discussed any of this with his ped? DO you have trouble at home as well? Those are other questions that may come up.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:30 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Having my child see a psychiatrist and start meds was the best thing for her. The school finally got things moving as far as special ed goes. My child is advanced also...she is 6 yo and in first grade. Her behavior is awful. She slides down railings instead of walking down the stairs, she pushes, kicks, runs away in the parking lot and just a lot of bad stuff. Having a diagnosis takes the blame off of me. They are getting her an aide to stay with her at all times (even on the bus) just to step in if she becomes violent or does something dangerous. She is bipolar. Ask the school for an evaluation for an IEP or a 504. My little girl sees a psychiatrist, has 12 hours of therapy a week in our home, and also has the school working for her. Her violent outbursts have improved since starting the meds but not her defiant behaviors. Good luck to you!
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 8:30 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Usually if the school district suspects a problem they will want to do an evaluation. I think you might want to go that route. He could have ODD, which is oppositional defiant disorder, of ADHD, ADD or some other behavioral issue. Since your other children don't behave this way, and he has had this for quite sometime, don't be hard on yourself, or him if he can't help himself. Continue with the regular discipline, time outs, etc until he can be evaluated. I understand you don't want to medicate your child, but sometimes it's the best thing. Or if you would prefer behavior modification techniques, you could try that as well. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 8:45 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • It's great you are having a meeting! With any luck they will suggest a evaluation and possibly an IEP in the future to help you ALL out. Don't be nervous. Do go in with an open mind. You may find there is a reason he is having so much trouble in school.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:23 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • How would he be tested? I'm soo new to this, and what exactly could I loose? He was in soccer, but it ended recently. But honestly, he wouldn't really listen to the coach that often either. I think he does it for attention, because he's smart in school the other kids who need help are getting more attention, so he acts out. I noticed this when one day he played with my older son's coach for soccer and the coach was amazed with how he played for being so young, and my son listened to him much better. Not sure how to get him out of that though, I praise him for what he does well too. It's soo hard.
    sheli2007

    Comment by sheli2007 (original poster) at 8:25 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would see what the teachers have to say. It is their job as well to take control of your child while he is in their care. Maybe he needs more one-on-one time.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 8:24 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • IEP, reward system, and NO MEDS! Good luck, I have never had an ill behaved child, but I know many who have and an IEP will helpalot!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 10:06 AM on Nov. 18, 2010