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3 Bumps

How to handle under motivated, pot addicted teen?

It is so hard, he doesn't go to class, does drugs all the time, doesn't do schoolwork, acts disrespectful to the whole family etc etc. We have taken away his cell phone, computer access, key to our house and are now possibly not taking him with us on a family vacation. We have called the police because he was bringing pot into our house. The cops did not do anything. The school keeps pushing him ahead, so they do nothing, we went to 2 drug rehab centers but since he is 16 and not asking for help..... they do nothing. He steals from his work and misses shift... they do not fire him, they do nothing.
I am not sure if our tough love is going to work or not but he has to learn there are consenquences somehow. Right??? I feel terribly guilty but lost and advice??

Answer Question
 
stamm

Asked by stamm at 8:29 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Kick him out. You've enabled him long enough...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:31 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • You can't kick out a 16 year old... I would keep calling the cops every time you find him with drugs on him. I would have him quit the job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • make him start paying rent
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:34 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I missed that sorry, but I would take him to the police dept and let him spend the night. Maybe then he would figure out that you're serious about things...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:34 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I disagree with the previous post. By law, it is illegal to kick out a 16 year old. THEY ARE MINORS! You can be charged with neglect and abandonment. If they are legal age, 18, you can.

    Secondly, does your child have other psychiatric illness that could be the problem? Have you taken him to a psychiatrist and or family doctor to rule out other conditions. Bipolar for example often coincides with substance and alcohol abuse. They use drugs to feel better, hence self-medicating.

    I would take your son to a doctor for a full workup and evaluation. He is too young to give up on him. Yes, you should use tough love, ie, not tolerate disrespect, not tolerate drugs in your home, not tolerate him to steal,etc.

    I highly recommend family therapy as well not just for your son but all of you. Addiction is a FAMILY disease and it effects everyone. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 8:36 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I would cut him off from everything. If you pay for his cell phone, shut it off. Shut off access to cable, shut off access to his car or yours, make internet/computers inaccessible with passwords, You drop him off at work and you pick him up. You stay on him like flies on shit.
    gypsyjewels

    Answer by gypsyjewels at 8:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • How did he get the money and the freedom to go out and buy POT? He isn't THAT old. WHy isn't he at home all the time and following rules? I am a firm believer in being in charge of your kids always and limiting their access to friends and activites--especially if they look like they will get in trouble. Now that he is addicted to pot....which is a surprise because so many Moms here at CM say that you can't be addicted to POT and that it is just great...@@....anyway, he needs rehab and a psychiatrist and tough parents. Good luck.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 8:39 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • There is no easy answer. Actually there is probably no answer. But do not give up. How can you not take him with you. Who are you going to leave him with. Do not give up. Addicts either end up in jail or dead. Either way you have to keep fighting to save him.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:47 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • why is he working? Could he be around bad influences at work?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:49 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • The drugs are going to ruin his life which you are actually saying in this post. I've seen on these shows where they take the kids to the morgue to awaken them to the outcome of their lives if they continue to take drugs. However, if he really is troubled by his life overall he may be using the drugs as a escape. He may need help finding a balance that will make him get off of the drugs so he sees his life has real purpose and meaning. Drugs can certainly affect his ability to do school work and function at work as well.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 8:50 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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