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Advice Please

I have been married 12 yrs.(2nd marriage) We have had our ups and downs, but.... I love him. There is a guy who knew me before I married my DH...He recognized my daughter and ask her how I was doing and gave her his phone number to give to me...he said he just wanted to talk..I threw his number in the garbage...but he stops by my daughters job pretty much everyday to ask her why I won't call. I feel like I've put her in a bad position. I thought of calling him just to say get lost.....but I REALLY don't want to talk to him. Any suggestions please......I mean it has been 13 yrs since I've seen the guy.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Nov. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You need to face this in order to get your daughter out of the middle. Call him and tell him you don't wish to speak to him now nor ever and you would really appreciate it if he left your daughter alone. If he doesn't you will have to get your current husband involved.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:56 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • If you think that he would hurt you are your daughter or if he seems to be stalking you or her then i would call him once tell him to leave you both alone or you will call the cops for harassing you both.
    Angel_Mother_22

    Answer by Angel_Mother_22 at 11:56 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Gosh, that is a horrible situation to put you daughter in but I would keep ignoring him. If he comes in again just have her say, my mom is happily married and a very busy person; if she wants to call you she will.

    Wish the guy would get the hint. I mean come on, if she doesnt call she doesnt want to talk. Jeez! GL
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 11:57 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • ninjaI think you should call him let him know your married keep it real short. This way your daughter doesn't have to be in such a weird situation. Also wathc out foor your daughter this guy soulds like he could be a weirdo. I he keeps going by your daughters job tell your husband so he can woop his a** if needed.

    Jenaiko01

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 11:58 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • good nightSorry the spelling is off I'm gettiing sleepy. The lights are off and I cant see the keys.

    Jenaiko01

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 12:00 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Why did he give his number to your daughter in the first place? It sounds like he wants to talk but is afraid. You do however need to get a handle on this situation ASAP. It's not right for him to confront your daughter, she doesn't know him and this could be considered harassment. If you feel that he is going to do something irrational, get a protective order.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:14 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Yeh... this isn't right..

    Your daughter should tell her boss that this guy is coming by. Saying hi once or in frequently is one thing... nearly every day starts to be harassment. Plus your daughter is in the weird position where he is the customer so she can really say "get lost". Right in front of everyone (not pulled aside), the next time he comes in your daughter should just answer him with confidence "you know my mom is happily married so it is not really appropriate. Please stop asking me, I gave her the message. Now you are making me uncomfortable."

    It is possible that he is just trying to make conversation with your daughter and maybe that was his regular lunch place already... either way she needs to stand her ground.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 12:28 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • You guys are right! This is not fair to my daughter and she is the one I worry about. The guy did tell my daughter he was in an unhappy relationship..but I'm seriously not available. I'm going to give him a short call...Tell him I'm happy, and not to stop by daughters job AGAIN! I hate to drag my DH into this and I'm going to try and take the simple route first ..if that doesn't work. I will move on to the next step. thanks for the advice ladies
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:30 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I have to agree, that is just excessive & kind of creepy. My advice would be to ask your daughter to deal with it one more time. Have her tell him firmly, but politely, that she has given you the message & that he is now interfering with her work. I would suggest that she tell her manager that this guy is coming in a lot without benefitting the business, & that way if he comes in again they can have him escorted out. If it continues after that, I'd say get his number from the phone book, call from a payphone so he won't get your number, & tell him that you aren't interested in a friendship or anything else, and to leave your family alone. Hugs hun, hope everything works out!
    KA91

    Answer by KA91 at 12:36 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • HaveDH call him!! that should put a stop to it lol.
    WhitneyMommyOf2

    Answer by WhitneyMommyOf2 at 1:11 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

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