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To move or not to move.

Im here with "his" family. In 7 years no invites to stuff, no phone calls, nothing. HOlidays arent evensmiling times, everying eats and leaves. The entire family including my hubby and our three kids is 13 members.

M.I.L. says "black" if I say "white" has always been short with me. Its clear she hates me. After 7 years you just know.

Sunday when she (for the first time) yelled at me (and she was in the wrong about it,everyone in the family has confirmed it) yelled at me out of the blue that I need medication, I cant do a budget, I am a bitch, and much more, in front of my kids, and two rooms full of people at a birthday party....this is what I said to her about her grandkids as we put our coats on to leave before the party even began..."GET A GOOD LOOK AT THEM AS THEY ARE WALKING AWAY, CUZ YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO SEE THEM AGAIN."

I believe Im going to journey 1100 miles from here & start all over with my family.


Asked by tsjpop at 2:31 AM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (133 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • How horrible! I can't imagine your MIL being so rude & hateful! I wouldn't necessarily move away, as your husband has a great job where he is and you are going to school & all, but I would stay far away from her! At least until you get an apology and she has an attitude change. It would be best if she gave you a sincere apology in the presence of those same people that she disrespected you in front of. Regardless of how she feels about you, she should never air that in public! It's just downright rude! Hugs to you, Sharey!

    Answer by etexmom at 7:01 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Families sometimes suck, and it sounds like you are in a position to just make a clean break. I'd do it. If there is nothing substantial holding you where you are living - go. Is your SO on board with the move?

    Answer by Scuba at 8:35 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Sounds like your mother in law is the one who needs medication. I hope things work out for you.

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:15 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • This is a decision for you and your SO to make. You should be living where it works best for the two of you and your kids. I wish you all the best in making the decsion. Please do not be too hasty, though, and make a mistake. It is too important. hug

    Answer by elizabr at 7:21 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Move and don't look back. There is something very wrong with that family if holidays are just sit down's, eat and leaves.
    You're MIL may be the root of the entire problem. But even when you move, don't expect things to be problem free with your own family. Just say you don't move, you would be within all rights to cut your MIL from your life with anyone else who wants to take her side.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 8:23 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Run!

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:30 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • My sister and mom go through this every few years. It makes my head spin but it's their business, not mine. I have seen my dh get up from the table when his mom was being a b towards me and he's also implied to his parents that we may move to be closer to my family. I will say that keeping grandkids from their grandparents is similar to keeping the from an ex you are mad at: you are letting your relationship cloud their relationship. My nieces ask when they will get to see Memere again and my sister explains how toxic our mom is and that she doesn't want Memere talking bad or...whatever. Get over it. Don't go to her house. Be busy. And where is your dh while all this is going on? I do support moving closer to your family no matter the circumstance. For us, we have to be here until sd is 18 and hopefully she will go to college near my family so we can still see her. I want my parents to get to know my family. His already does.

    Answer by BluDog at 8:22 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I would not move. You are near family, maybe not completely functional but better than none. Be the bigger person and try to work things out. In my opinion disagreements between in laws should never be a reason to keep them from seeing them.

    Answer by Melbornj at 2:52 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • My mother has never laid eyes on my babies, not once. she is 1100 miles from here. There is no "family" here, no interaction. Babysitting your grandbabies once a month is not functional.Nor is it "near" family. But when she yelled at me and said things that didnt pertain to anything, I will not take being put down in front of my kids, whom I am superhero to! Not in my lifetime. I am still leanin towards moving in 4 weeks , but thanks for your input.

    Comment by tsjpop (original poster) at 3:08 AM on Nov. 16, 2010