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2 Bumps

How can Idiscipline my 2-year-old girl to make her mind?

My 27-month daughter is sometime very stubborn; ie, when she wants to change her dress first calls for me to help then when I go to her she asks for her father, then when he comes, she wants me again and so on...when I ask her to make her mind she starts crying...or when her grandma comes to our home she will be totally ignorance to me...not listening at all, for everything asks her grandma to help her (taking to toilet, changing dress, going for walk, having meal, giving snack and list going on). It is really annoying when she does this. How can I discipline her to behave? Appreciate your help and support.


Asked by NasMoj at 2:48 AM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (43 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • This is normal 2 year old behavior, trying to see what she can get away with. Girls are just so dramatic about things. Have patience, be consistent, be understanding but firm.
    When you come to help her get dressed and she says she wants Dad, say I'm here to help, next time you can have Dad. If she cries just ignore it and continue to help. If she throws a tantrum, walk away until she is calm enough to get dressed. But if you let her have a tantrum and then she gets Dad after that, she will think she can throw a tantrum to change your mind any time she wants. So think about the lesson she is learning as you decide what to do.

    Answer by RedRowan at 9:05 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • My only suggestion is to give in to her first request only. If she hollers for mom, mom goes to her. But if mom goes and she hollers for dad, explain that mom is there to help her with whatever she needs and she did ask for mom first. As mom, I would also add that mom does not play games and neither do the other adults! But the other adults need to be on board with that too, and not give in!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:08 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • She is learning that she has choices in this world and is exercising her feeling of control. It is difficult to get through this period as exhibited by her crying. With the dress example if you both go to her and calmly explain either one of you will help her it would go more smoothly. You can teach her how to ask nicely by actually telling her the words to use. Stay calm and loving as she learns these skills. Also, it is very common for children to want a visitor's attention. If the visitor (grandma) is willing, let the child enjoy the attention. Many children do this.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:07 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I've noticed with my 2 year olds when it comes to making them mind or making a decision, I give them 2 choices...this way they feel like they have some say in the situation. For example, say they want something to drink...Do you want juice or milk....Do you want to wear this shirt or this seems to help...when they do misbehave I give them a warning and if they continue then I put them in time out. Sometimes they try to get up and I just continue to put them back until they sit there. Once they do calm down and sit there, I make them sit there for 2 minutes (their age) and when that time is up I explain to them why they had to sit in time out and ask them to apologize. It actually seems to really help. Good luck!

    Answer by LindsayLL2010 at 8:31 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • When Luke turned 2, I started using love and logic parenting
    It was amazing for him and me. Instead of constant tantrums ands battles, it was 90% smoother everyday. At that age they are learning they can make decisions and it's a battle of will. Instead I would give him choices. Would you like cereal or oatmeal? Do you want to clean up Thomas or McQueen? Would you like to watch noggin or Disney. Anytime I foresaw a battle I would create choices, it helped him feel decisive and I of course choose the options lol. Now Luke never responded to time outs or spankings, this was a great solution to his learning style!

    Answer by ThaSs at 10:05 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • well i would not use the word games literally because that could be confusing, especially if you do play games with her! But I'm sure u get my drift.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:10 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I don't know if this is a discipline issue as much as it is a reasoning one. Have you tried to ask her "Why?" or give her an option right away and then force her to choose one (or do whatever she wants to do herself). Sometimes presenting a toddler with immediate choices can stave off confrontation.

    Answer by SlightlyPerfect at 9:27 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I totally agree that giving two choices is THE way to go. DS is also 27 months, and this avoids A LOT of fights. He gets overwhelmed with more options than that, and it easily escalates. Give that a go, and see how it goes.
    When Grandma visits, it's normal for them to ignore you and be excited about the visitor. She may need some reminding that Mom is still in charge, and she needs to listen to you. You may find yourself with more time-outs than normal, but it always helps to be consistent. She knows Grandma is more lenient (more often than not, Grandmas are), so she tries to get away with more. This age is all about pushing limits, so you need to be consistent with where those boundaries are. Try to get Grandma on board as well, so your daughter isn't confused by different rules from one place to another.
    Good luck!

    Answer by musicpisces at 10:23 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • this is what i would do. if my son cant make up his mind i make is up for him. i will give him 2 choices and if cant decide then i do and thats the end of it. little ones will always test you to see how far they can get. they are smarter than we think. enjoy!!!

    Answer by cuteness13983 at 5:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2010