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2 Bumps

So furious !!!

My OLDER sister is acting like a spoiled little teenager... when actually she is an almost 30 year old MOTHER....

She has 2 year old twin girls and I have literally had them more than she has.....They have their own clothes, dressers, and beds at MY house, and they dont even have them at hers. If I try to talk to her about HER kids, she gets mad and tries to call herself a good mom...

I never get paid ( which we are struggling I would atleast like her to buy their pull ups or food) ....

But the final straw came last night ... For the last few weeks she has been complaining and crying that she has no money, once again we had to buy their food and pull ups ( I also have 2 kids who need things).. and then I see she posts new pics on facebook - OF HER NEW $140 TATTOO !!!

I am so mad and I think if I am putting this much work in I should be able to be called mommy !

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:04 AM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (13)
  • Wow, she is incredibly selfish and immature. Quite unfortunate that some kids get stuck with parents like that but thank God those little girls have an awesome aunt like you in their lives. I completely understand your frustration and anger on this. I'd be ticked off, too.
    DivaDynamite

    Answer by DivaDynamite at 8:06 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • This is a double edge sword because it sounds like you are an awesome mom by the way you take care of and love those little girls. You could say "here are your kids, if your such a great mom, then you take care of them but in that case, those little girls are going to suffer because goodness knows who she's going to toss them off to next. One question, how did you initially end up with this responsibility?
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:10 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • You need to sit your sister down, and show her in black and white what you've been spending on her kids, and explain that she HAS to help. Make a list of everything you pay for - include all the babysitting time as well. If it's in writing she can't deny that she needs to step up. I don't envy your position, if you don't help it sounds like the girls will go without and when you do help your sister takes advantage.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:14 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • It sounds like you're doing a wonderful thing for those little girls. Without you...who knows where they would be!! Im sorry that your sister is using you and taking advantage of you like that. She sounds like a very very selfish person. I think you need to "put her in her place" she needs a good dose of reality!!
    randibosin

    Answer by randibosin at 8:18 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • tell her you're struggling and you wont take them unless she can give you money up front
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:53 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • It all started when I would just babysit for them when they were newborns... a day here and day there... then it was two days , then three... by the time they were 1 I had them 5 days a week !

    The reason I wont just stop taking care of them is because I am afriad who she will let watch them ( my mom and I are the only ones who actually has watched them) But she has alot of crazy friends and i wouldnt doubt it if they did drugs ...This is why it is so hard... when they have a DR. appt or something I literally have to track her down ... I would love to actually some how get custody of them... but then again I am afriad I would take her to court or whatever and then not win and she will take them to whoever...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:07 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • You have every right to be pissed- very pissed!
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 10:51 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Please read Co-dependant No More. You are enabeling your sister to behave this way. She will only use you for a door mat as long as you let her. You have a right to be angry to an extent, but own up to your end of this situation. Stop letting her take advantage!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:56 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • You are a wonderful person. You care, but too much. You are enabling your older sister to act immature. You need to sit her down and tell her you love her children very much, however it is not your responsibility to pay for their food, pull-ups etc. You have children of your own that need you and will probably resent you and their cousins. You need to tell your sister that you are infuriated that she could spend $140 on a tattoo and not her kids. Remind her of her legal, ethical and parental responsibilities. If she neglects her children, or leaves them with unfit sitters, then call CPS on her, (Child protective services). Let her know you will call if she continues to act irresponsibly. You never mentioned if she abuses drugs or alcohol Does she? Maybe that's why she never has money. Good luck and God bless you.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 11:12 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Wow, I am so sorry you have to go through that. The problem is that she seems very wrapped up in her own needs. When someone is like this there is no talking them out of it. I would say that the right thing to do, even though it is hard, you need to stop enabling her. Let her know you can no longer take care of her children in this manner. Remind her that being a parent means being present. A child will bond with their primary caregiver, which right now is you. If she wants a relationship with her kids she needs to act fast. But also, remember to think about yourself here, you are a loving person for taking care of your family, but you need to simplify your life for YOUR family. Good luck, your amazing!!
    jeroneka

    Answer by jeroneka at 11:28 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

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