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My 14 yr. old son has meltdowns (adhd)

He gets frustrated so easily. the teachers say hes doing well at school, why does he have meltdowns so easily at home?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • Because you let him? Just a thought: ignore his meltdowns. Tell him to put on his big boy undies and walk away until he can communicate like a civilized human.

    Answer by BluDog at 8:57 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Dont buy into the whole "ADHD" bull first off. Give the little bastard a swift kick in the ass. If he dosent stop his bull then, rinse and repeat.

    Answer by TheLoliPopper at 9:00 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Because kids know how to manipulate their parents. He cannot manipulate a teacher at school with a meltdown. Somewhere, he has learned that his meltdowns at home helps him get what he wants.

    It has nothing to do with ADHD. Lots of kids are this way.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:05 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Because there is less structure at home. In school he's doing what all the other kids in his class are doing and it's easier for him to know what is expected because there is an example set. That's my thinking anyway because my son always does better at school or in groups.

    Answer by yezay at 9:08 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Because he's tired. Because he's in a new school, new environment. Because he knows that he can meltdown to you and not at school.....
    There are any number of factors. Try making sure that he's got a quiet environment for homework, the same place everyday. Require that homework be done when getting home. Have a handy snack.
    Sit with him and read while he does homework so that you can help when it looks like he's starting to get frustrated. Watch for the signs and don't let him get past the point of just simple frustration.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:15 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Don't a lot of 14 year old boys have meltdowns at home instead of in public? What self-respecting kid would suffer ridicule from his friends at school, peers, or even strangers in a store, from behaving this way in public? Not many. So why does your son choose to do it at home? Same reason as other pre-teens/teens: Because they know they can get away from it. He's hormonal, so walk away and choose to talk to him about it when he calms down. Everyone needs to release some pent up energy, so make sure it's appropriate! (Don't some teenage girls have a good cry in their room when things aren't going their way?) Maybe your son's not sure of an "appropriate" outlet for his emotions, so help him out: quiet time in his room, a workout at the weight bench or punching bag, a game of one-on-one with dad...

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 6:25 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Maybe because you (home) are the safe place to let it all out. Sure it's hard on you to witness. But let him melt down or whatever he has to do to release his pent up frustrations (he's been good at school all day). Don't give these meltdowns too much attention - IGNORE (even if you have to take a time out) and then go on with what is expected as if it didn't happen. HANG IN THERE, it'll get better. Parent him with positive reinforcement but let him get thru his moments and then look for ways to compliment him AFTER it's over and as he's doing better.

    Answer by GumboGirl at 12:16 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Hmm, only you would know the answer to that. If I had to guess, maybe they handle him differently than you do. Ask the teacher how they approach him & talks to him

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 12:55 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

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