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why do i have a low sex drive and how do i get it back?

Okay, my issue is that my sex drive is starting to go from okay to low to almost nonexistant. I never had a high sex drive, but it was okay. I always have reasons to not want to have sex, and usually they are real ... i'm tired or i'm not in the mood. I haven't been in the mood in awhile. I am only 26, and like I said, I don't expect to have a high sex drive, but something would be nice. I'll have times where I love to play with dh, tease him, etc, but my mood can change automatically, I can be touching him then any desire that I had for sex is gone. I am 26, been married for 5 years, we have a 4, 2 and 1 year old. I don't feel any more tired now than I have. I am always a little stressed, but no more than usual. To me, those aspects are still about the same as they have been, so I don't see how that can be the cause of my sex drive disappearing. I am not on any medications, so that isn't the cause. I don't know what is wrong.

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Asked by sleepymamaof3 at 10:51 AM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Health

Level 7 (207 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • If you have three small kids that you are the main caregiver for, that can pretty much snuff out any desire. Why don't you and hubby get away on a romantic weekend or maybe just a romantic night.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:56 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I can relate. You are probably exhausted. Do you ever do anything for yourself? Sometimes mommies tend to be such nurturers and caretakers that they forget to take care of themselves. I would ask your husband to watch the kids so you can take a long warm bath and light a candle. Believe it or not you need to get back in touch with your body because you have probably been so wrapped up in the kids you don't have any time for yourself. Go get a nice massage, or get a manicure or pedicure. Also, anxiety and or depression can decrease your sex drive. Also, if there was ever a history of any sexual abuse, that can effect it too and you should seek counseling if that is the case. Good luck. Hope things improve.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 11:20 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I can relate too I have four 2 teenagers and 2 preteens that take all of my time and I'm exhausted at the end of the day plus I work. I would like to know the same thing for the most part I really could care less about sex.

    Answer by MarGeee at 11:34 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • There can be so many things causing that. You sound overwhelmed and stress kills a sex drive. I have to envy those who come on here and brag about how they blow their husbands every day and have sex with him at least three times a day. I am not one of those. My sex drive has been shot for years. Depression, low thyroid, and being maternal did that for me. I seriously have no attraction to my husband. It's finding the cause and how to deal with it that can help.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:49 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Most likely it is a hormonal change in your body. It is always in fluctuation. It will change with time. If you want to be more proactive with it then try to be more romantic. Do it even when you don't care to. try to change your mindset. It may get you through until your body changes again.

    Answer by at 2:05 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • are you in a birth control, sometimes birth control can cause your sex drive to plummet. =-(

    Answer by sodapple at 2:14 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

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