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Lying about being with a male friend. What the hell is up?

My husband that is. He has this male friend we'll call J. My husband will stop at his house after work and lie about it. Or he won't mention it & just say he was stuck in traffic. On weekends, if we fight, he'll run off to J's house. This past weekend he was at his dad's. He told me he was staying until Sunday night. Turns out he left his dad's early Sunday and went to J's house. He was with one of our kids and he told our child to lie to me. He said "just tell mommy that everything we did at J's house really happened at grandpa's."
My kid is a horrible liar so the truth came out.
Why the hell is he lying about a male friend? I am ready to leave this idiot because of the lies and he knows it yet he continues to lie.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • I hate lying!! The first thing I think is that people who lie are trying to hide something. So I would talk to you husband and see what it is and why he is lying. Who knows, men can be idiots and will lie about something stupid for no reason but I would definately have my suspicions and let him know how his behavior looks. Now as for him getting your kids to lie too that sucks! It will also undermine you as a parent. That I would put an end to right away. I would not involve my kids in any way in this situation this would be strictly between my dh and me. And if he continued doing it I would think twice about staying with him.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 12:01 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • That is odd....I'd wonder what he's trying to hide about the relationship...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:48 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Maybe they are smoking weed or something. Or maybe he thinks you won't approve of his friend. But to tell your kid to lie? That's shitty.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:51 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • my ex did that he would lie about texting him and delete the texts from our phone too!! we shared a phone btw. it wasn't like i had a problem with the friend hell I even told him to hang out with him but he kept saying they didn't have anything in common and he wasn't a friend he could hang out with!! yet he texted him a lot and lied which was so stupid and made me wonder what the hell he was hiding and what they talked a out if they supposably had nothing in common ugh
    Ericaca

    Answer by Ericaca at 11:53 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • If your husband is bound and determined to hang out with J, then you should join in. If J has a family and you have a family, why don't you call his wife and invite them over to a dinner at your house. Explain to her that the men seem to have a lot in common, and you thought it would be nice to meet the entire family. Might seem like you're opening a big can of worms, but at least if you're present during their time together, you'll get a better sense of what's actually going on. Good Luck!
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 11:58 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • It's all about communication getting him to feel ok with telling the truth. If he gets to that point you might find out any secrets (the gay thing) he may be hiding or just that he's one of those guys that was lying to just not have the arguement.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 12:59 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I'd ask your child what they were doing over there.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:52 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • They smoke cigarettes. My son snitches on that too. He's 12 so he's old enough to know what a cig looks like opposed to pot. I don't approve of smoking but I certainly don't make a huge deal out of it. The guy lives with his family so it's not like a bachelor's pad. I mean the mom bought them pizza for dinner.

    I'm wondering of they are freaking gay. I'm really bothered by this crap.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:54 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I hate to say it but it sounds like something more than friendship is going on.

    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 11:58 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I do ask my kid what they do. Nothing bad (in front of him anyways). Just hang out. Play with the ipad. Swim in hot weather. Go get sub sandwiches etc. Sunday my husband helped them fix a hole in the wall and he has to go back and finish it. So I guess I was going to be lied to again when he went back to finish the hole.

    He even installed a new program called Kik on his BB so he could text this jerk. Our phones have texting blocked so he actually installed a whole app to talk to this dude. What the hell is going on!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:58 AM on Nov. 16, 2010

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