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My 11 year old son is very intelligent and creative-but unfortunately he is also spoiled and disrespectful to me. How do I modify his behavior? Is it too late?

He gets all A's, is well liked and well behaved at school. At home he is lazy and verbally disrespectful. I have tried taking away his favorite toys, games,etc.

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Asked by heartmom109 at 12:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Take away everything. Tv, games, ipod, cell phone, whatever he is into. Prove to him that you mean business and stick to it. He should eventually get the message. Good luck.

    Answer by arenad at 12:32 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • When you tolerate this disrespect at any age, you are doomed for when they get older, starting now wlll be much more difficult but not impossible. Keep at it until you win.

    Answer by older at 12:34 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Sit down with him and explain the house rules. Write up a list of 3 things that you really are going to focus on - such as talking respectfully to you - and post it on the fridge or where ever he will see the list. Then stick to it. EVERY time that he breaks one of the three rules, you have a consequence for it. Once you feel things are going well with one of the rules, move that off the list and add another one (if you need to). Something that might work well for him at age 11 is depositing a quarter for each offense, or something like that. He is also old enough to help you decide the punishment. Get him involved in the process and you might see results more quickly. Most importantly, keep your cool. If you can discipline without yelling and being frustrated, but staying firm and strict, your son will see that you are the authority figure and he is not. Keep trying! It will happen! :) Good luck

    Answer by Annastacialynn at 12:51 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Have you tried sitting down with and talking about his behavior? This is how I handled both the boys, my oldest more so at 14 because he was much worse than my now 12 yr old. I found that when I sat down and explained how hurtful their tone of voice or the words they used were to me, it helped a lot. Just a very open conversation. In my case I started crying because my biggest fear is lossing my children and it made me very emotional, which I explained to my son that way he was treating me scared me to believe that he wouldn't love me when left home, that our relationship would end.
    As far as being lazy, have you considered finding an outside activity for him (sports, art, drama, music). My kids are lazy from time to time but have very busy schedules otherwise.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:37 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • It's never too late! you really need to lay down the law at this age. Keep doing what you are doing and stick with it!

    Answer by Shanna84 at 8:50 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Refuse to talk with or listen to him until he learns to approach you with respect.

    Answer by shabbypink123 at 1:24 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

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