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Help, I am so confused

My husband and I have been together for almost 4 years and have a one year old daughter. Once we got into our own place he hasn't done anything other than go to work and sit on gaming consoles (computer and xbox). He complains when he has to change our daughters diaper or if he has to get off his game to do something.Then recently I found out that he was having an online affair with a girl he met from WoW. It broke my heart the things he said to her. I was miserable before this happened but now it is just worse. I found a friend to talk to about all this and my husband accused me of wanting to give up my daughter to go be with him and that I didnt love my daughter blah blah blah.My family keeps pressuring me to stay with him and that if I dont I am a horrible person. But I dont want to be in this situation any longer. I want to be happy. Maybe find someone to make me my question is, is this wrong of me?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I went through the same thing until I finally told him to leave. My family was upset for a little while then they got over it. If he's having an affair he probably has no respect for you at least thats how I feel. I had a friend that my ex kept accusing me of cheating on him with as well and it tore us apart. No one should ever have to listen to that everyday and if you've had enough you have to do what's best for you because and unhappy mommy is something your daughter can see even at her young age.

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 6:00 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • No, it's definately not wrong of you to want to be happy. Life is way to short to live in a miserable relationship/marriage. Been there, done that. I had 3 kids in my first marriage, and everyone on his side plus him was saying stay together because of the kids. WRONG! Because I was miserable, my kids were miserable. So the best thing I did was get out of that marriage and find a wonderful man who accepted me and my 3 kids. So I say to you, Life is way to short to live a lifetime of unhappiness. Trust was already violated by the online affair. You do what makes you happy, and inturn your daughter will be happy. To heck with what family says, they aren't in your shoes. Good Luck!

    Answer by NiqNaq23 at 6:00 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • No not at all, he he broke the vows of marriage when he had an online affair. You have to do whats best for you and your daughter, he is trying to make you feel guilty by saying you don't love your daughter. If your family knows what he did and knows he doesn't help at home with your daughter, and still they are pressuring you to stay with him. Then they don't have you or your daughters best intentions in mind. I would leave him on his ass, you deserve better than that and so does your daughter. Don't let her grow up thinking it's ok for a man to treat a woman like that.

    Answer by musiclovingmomm at 6:01 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • You do not have to listen to your family..If your not happy in the marriage. Leave him..Sound like he is self centered..And immature


    Answer by louise2 at 6:02 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • i think he has an addiction to his games and that he needs to stop that. also has he cheated with this girl. maybe you could try playing the games also. i just don't believe in divorcing over something this like this. it's not like he abuses you or beats you. addicted to drugs or alcohol. i think you need not to do the same thing that he did was having a friend of the opposite sex. then you wouldn't be able to bring her up without him bringing your guy friend up either. go get some therapy and try work it out before you just leave. marriages are hard and have to be worked through at times.

    Answer by melody77 at 6:02 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • yeah i had gone thru the family not wanting me to leave, they thought i was this horrible person until i sat them down an explained to them the way he really was. his addiction is breaking the family up you can not be to blame. of course you entered into this marriage assuming you would be there thru the bad times, give it your all, of course without taking what you give to your daughter, but if your efforts can not be matched by your husband the best thing for you to do is get you and your daughter out of this situation. and oh yeah dont let him talk crap to you just to make you feel bad, this is his defence mechanism and you can not feed into it

    Answer by misa.marie at 6:25 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Leave if he treats you bad. But don't look for another man to make you happy. Settle within yourself first and that could take some time. But you definitely need to develop a love for self and your daughter first.

    Answer by rain408 at 6:33 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Please understand that staying with him will be a terrible decision for your child, if it means you are going to remain unhappy. The most important thing for your daughter is to have happy parents who can devote their energy to nurturing - not to worrying, fighting with each other and/or feeling angry or depressed. Your family is not YOU - they cannot understand the situation without being in it. Please make the choice that you feel would allow you to remain happiest, because that is what your daughter needs!

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 7:06 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • life is short. Find happiness wherever you can and enjoy life to the fullest. If he's not interested in being the h you want him to be then allow someone else to be.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:35 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I agree with the one previous post that you shouldn't take comfort in another man right now, but I think you should move out and be on your own for awhile. My spouse used to be all about the video games and computer games and he used to have all his online girlfriends IMing him and calling him on our home phone, and it drove me crazy. When we were separated, he sold most of his game systems and realized what was important to him. Good luck!

    Answer by baenglishwc05 at 8:14 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

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