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If your husband told you...

If your husband told you one night that if you wanted to have a relationship outside the marriage, it's okay with him...as long as it's with another woman...if you were interested in women...would you pursue a relationship, whether it's emotional or just physical? My husband told me I could be with another woman if I wanted to (he doesn't know I'm interested in women) and he'd be completely okay with it, but I'm on the fence about whether or not I want to. I mean, I REALLY want to, but I'm so nervous! What would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Just because someone goes outside the marriage and has an affair doesn't mean their marriage is messed up, it doesn't mean they need counseling. Personally, my husband and I both have relationships outside the marriage, yet we still love each other deeply and are very happy in our marriage. It just works for us. And I KNOW it works for others. Every couple is different. Don't start bashing this poor woman. Obviously she's confused and just needs someone to talk to, but that doesn't mean she needs to see a fricken therapist. And how do you know her husband wants to join in? Maybe they've discussed it and set some rules for if anything like that would happen. You don't know her, or her husband, or their marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Sounds like him wanting a 3some. Although you may be interested in woman, your commitment is with hubby. Sounds like it could be a trick. Don't be surprised if you do go that route, he may throw it in your face down the line, or accuse you of cheating even though he said it was o.k.. I wouldn't do it......
    NiqNaq23

    Answer by NiqNaq23 at 6:09 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I would be careful, that could be a trap. I learned my lesson on this years ago, you having sex with with another woman opens the door for him to want to join in and have sex with other women. So unless thats what you wanting I would be careful, sometimes I think men think this is a way to have their cake and eat it too.
    musiclovingmomm

    Answer by musiclovingmomm at 6:11 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • please PM me.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:11 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I would be really careful if i were you. My ex and i got into an open relationship and it turned to shit because when you invite other women into the relationship i don't care who it is if she wants your husband she will do anything and everything to get to him. It's only going to ruin your life with him. Nothing like that ever works out ppl can't help but get jelous it's human nature.It may seem exiting at first but in the end you get screwed and not in the good way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • As much as I would tell him thank you for the offer I wouldn't follow through with it! I had many chances to experiment before hubby and I got married but didn't that was the choice I made, now that I am married my marriage to me is very sacred and I refuse to find lust in another's arms. I only want it from my husband and to me it seems as if bringing a 3rd part into a marriage could really cause conflict and I refuse to have my marriage broken apart by a fun little fling. Yes we are comfortorable enough and there is no trust issues but to be honest you never know what problems could arise! I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you decide to make!
    Married2theBest

    Answer by Married2theBest at 6:19 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • That just sounds weird. Like everyone else said, it sounds like a trap. Why would he tell you that out of the blue when he doesnt even think that you're interested in women?? He either wants a three some or his own relationship. Or both. Or maybe he might be interested in men and thinks it only fair if you two "cheat" with the same sex! JMO GL and be careful.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:19 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Seriously though Id consider him interested im men. If he wasnt dont you think he'd give you permission to be with another man. Why a woman?
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:20 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • in*
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:21 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • i think you have bigger issues with your marriage if you feel it's ok to mock your marriage by having an external relationship. marriage is with between two people not more then that.that would be polygamy. he certainly sounds like he is setting himself up for something.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:29 PM on Nov. 3, 2008