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3 Bumps

do you think a marriage should keep on if you feel one person is not happy?

my husband family has direpected me by involving ex-wife in family in family functions , we both has told them that we feel uncomfortable and she shouldn't be involed, but the do it anyway, she doesn't respect us either she involves herself. she is close to them and i am not, i have never felt comfortable around his family, never felt like daugher in-law, feel like i am beneath them. until i stated speaking up and saying how i feel they would walk all over me, but now i don't want no part of them because they direspect me all the time so i am done with them, and my husband understand how i feel and feel that i am right but feel like he resents me for it, and he has told me and he saids he has to work on that himself, but do i beleive him? i feel he takes their side over mind, he listenes to them more than me....

Answer Question
 
lisa98450

Asked by lisa98450 at 1:41 PM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I would hate that!
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 1:42 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I wouldn't like that either.I am a second wife too.I only see the ex at funerals.And programs that my step daughter is in.I think you have a very valid complaint and he needs to listen to you.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:43 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I think you need to get over it, be the bigger person, go and be nice as can be to his family, and understand that this woman was close to his family, and they consider her part of the family. Your husband tells you he sides with you, but its not that easy to just give up your own family who you care about. He sounds like he is doing the right thing, but imagine what an amaizing woman he would think you were if you decided to just suck it up and deal with it and be super nice and inviting, and warm. You can still choose not to attend events where his ex is attending, but by being the bigger person with his family it will make your husband think you are the most amaizing woman in the world, and it sounds like he is a pretty decent guy, so I think it would make you both happier in the long run.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 1:48 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • for me if my husbands family wanted to involve his daughters wife I would be content because they have a kid together...but his last wife I would be mad as hell and would not have made this far into our marriage, because they have no kids together, she is a nut job and there is no reason to stay connected. I can understand why you would want to leave. Being married to a family that gives you a cold shoulder is hard to do and it is hurtful. Only you can decide what you need to do.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:57 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I am sorry you have to be in that situation, and I would truly hate it.
    I don't know how I feel about the whole sucking it up thing though. I am all about being the bigger person even in a situation like this, but it would be difficult especially when they are always including her in things. How can you expect to have a relationship with them if they are putting more emphasis on the Ex? I also think his family should respect his wishes if he doesn't want to see his ex there, then they shouldn't have her there. It puts strain where it could be avoided.
    earthsangel2006

    Answer by earthsangel2006 at 12:09 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

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