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Should I feel guilty about cutting back on who I buy for this Christmas?

I am really stuggling with this question. On my side of the family I want to cut back and only by gifts for my mom and stepfather and my niece and exclude my younger sister (21) and younger brother (20) and my other brother and his wife. My reasons are basically they don't buy for us so why should I keep on buying for them. My sister is lazy and does not want to work, my brother and his wife don't have much and when I do send gifts I never get a thank you. I feel really guilty for not sending them something but then again why should I they don't feel guilty. Or should I just spend about $10.00-$15.00 bucks per person to give a little something?

I don't want to be a scrooge but whats fair is fair. I am buying a little something for my niece and my brother said he'll send something for my kids the end of Jan. What am I going to say to that. Money is tight for me and my family too.

Basically should I feel guilty or not?

Answer Question

Asked by Sunflower722 at 2:18 PM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Holidays

Level 12 (714 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • No. Times are hard; I'm sure they will understand. We used to buy for a lot of people. The past two years, we have only bought for our kids. We want to make sure they have a good Christmas.

    Answer by August07Mom at 2:20 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • No, You should not feel guilty. I am cutting back on Christmas expenses also for the main reason that.... I hate that the joy of Christmas gets buried under so much materialism. You shouldn't feel like you have to buy anyone anything.


    Answer by Namaste17 at 2:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Christmas in my family, as in my extended families, has never been about gifts. My mom's parents rarely give gifts to anyone at Christmas. My dad's mother gives little things to candy, nuts, gloves, socks. My brother's family as well as mine aren't in any kind of financial situation to buy for each other or the kids. My parents have already got the children enough gifts that Christmas day will be fun for them. We were never raised to spend a lot of money at Christmas. That isn't the point of the season. Currently, my children age 1 and 2 have one gift in the closet for them. That may be all they get, because bills and food come first right now. My husband and I agree that going overboard is unnecessary.....even if you have the money. Christmas time should be about family and whatever traditions you have.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 2:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Nope. I told people we are not doing presents this year and told them to please not get us anything. I suggest that we all just get together and enjoy the holidays.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 2:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • NO you should not! Gifts are not the reason for the season....

    Just talk to the family you want to cut and make it a mutual they will not get you anything either.

    If you are embarrassed...just blame it on making things simpler and saving EVERYONE money. We dont buy for many family members at all....our kids, and my mom and dad...thats it....

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 2:23 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I would just tell everyone a head of time we are Not exchanging gifts this year, then everybody knows it and they can do as the wish. we use to exchange gifts but when my brother had 4 kids plus him and his wife it was too hard on him (money wise) and we decided to only buy gifts for the kids under 12 if we wanted to but if you choose to buy for one then you bought for all the kids under 12yrs. Oh and we all still bought & buy for mom and dad. g/l

    Answer by Becnfamily at 2:24 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Buy for those that makes you happy for doing so. If you're doing it out of guilt or obligation,where's the x-mas spirit in that?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:24 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • When I give a gift it is because I want to. I don't feel obligated and I don't feel like when I buy a gift that I should get one back. I do it because it makes me feel good.

    Answer by sue118 at 2:24 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • NO. If they don't give then you don't give. If there are kids then you can buy a little something for he kids. If you are buying for adults & you know they will have something waiting for your spend what you can afford. Its hard to not feel guilty but no one should have to feel like that over xmas. I too am going through similar feelings.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 2:25 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • No you should feel guilty if you are trying to save money then okay . Even if you weren't trying to save money and cut back on gifts if you don't by for them it's okay Christmas is about more than what you bought them. No one wants to go broke for Christmas buying a bunch of gifts for others that you feel should and don't return the favor.


    Answer by waitin4u at 2:26 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

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