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4 Bumps

Should I be insulted?

Every year for the past few years I have baked pies to take to my in-laws house for Thanksgiving. Every year, my pies have gotten rave reviews by everyone in attendance. This year, when I called to double check what they would like me to bring for Thanksgiving, my MIL told me to just go out an buy a couple of pies for dessert. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, because I'm sure she is just trying to save me time and trouble, but I enjoy making them from scratch. I mean it's Thanksgiving for goodness sake. Anyway, I didn't say anything to her because I was so shocked by her suggestion (not that it would be a far-fetched statement on any other day) but at least she could've prefaced it by saying, "I know you are very busy, and although we love your pies I don't want you to have to go to too much trouble." Then at least I would've felt that at least she appreciated what I did. Am I being too sensitive?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Holidays

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Well, salexander can call Dr. Phil on me too, lol. I take great pride in my cooking and baking, serving whatever I make to others makes me feel good, if someone said that to me, I'd be offended also. I'm betting she didn't mean anything by it, but it would still bother me. I'm not sure what I'd do. If everyone else always raves about them, I'd probably still make them and make some type of comment when I got there, like, "I know you asked for store-bought, but its just not Thanksgiving to me if I'm not baking pies" say it nicely and I bet her reaction will tell you exactly what she really meant, and you'll know what to do for next year.

    Answer by gramsmom at 11:45 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I think she just meant to save you the trouble of making homemade pies, probably not realizing you enjoy it. If you were coming to any Thanksgiving I was going to attend I would say by all means make the pies from scratch if you have the time and motivation- homemade is always better than store bought in my opinion. It wasn't the most considerate thing to say but she probably didn't think you would take offense. Just let her know you're bringing the pie, she shouldn't be concerned where it comes from.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:09 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I think she was probably trying to be nice, and save you the time and effort, and didn't realize how it would sound to you. Since you enjoy making the pies, I would go ahead and make them. If she says something just tell her you enjoy making them. I'm sure since you've brought them in the past, and get compliments, people would be disappointed if you didn't.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 3:51 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Yes, she could've worded her statement better, but I wouldn't take it personally. I also, though a seemingly helpful suggestion, wouldn't follow it. If you love making the pies from scratch then go ahead and continue with that tradition. She was probably just trying to save you time and money, but if you really enjoy it then go ahead and do it your way. I'm sure she appriciates your help with the pies either way, and will be glad that you still took the time to bake them.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:08 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Make the pies from scratch just be sure she knows you enjoy making them when everyone raves about them. Nothing beats home made !!

    Answer by parrishsky at 5:46 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Maybe she forgot that you normaly brought pies?

    Answer by minimo77 at 4:20 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Aaaaahhhh I am sorry. I would love if you made home made pies and came over with them. She however probably can't see the difference. What ever just do your thing honey.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 4:46 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Don't take it so personally. Just make the pies like you normally do and enjoy the day. There's so much more to worry about than that.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 5:42 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • She probably is trying to save you the trouble. I hate the holidays because all the petty stuff seems to infiltrate. After almost losing my husband last year to heart disease, I am more grateful than ever to have him here with me on this holiday. Be grateful, and don't worry about your in laws. Happy thanksgiving.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 11:45 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • No you should not be offended. She probably felt that formalities and disclaimers wouldn't be necessary with you, and she was trying to save you effort. Go ahead and bake your pies.

    Answer by Bmat at 11:46 PM on Nov. 16, 2010