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My SS gets very disrespectful on the days he goes back to his BM, what should we do?

My SS likes to not listen to us or just plain ignor us on the days he gets to go back to his Mother's house. We do not change our rules or what we expect from him from day to day. We have him 4 days a week one week and 3 days the opposit week. We love him and give him rewards for well behavior and give consequenses for when he misbehaves but they do not seem to work! It sucks because when he is disrespectful he knows that the consequences do not fallow through at his Mothers house. It is only he and her in there home so he pretty much gets what he wants when he wants it! He will tell us that out right! The situation can be very sad! :( We just want him to grow with knowing that is not how the real world is! Any advice?


Asked by jem102675 at 3:48 PM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,345 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I don't have step children but it sounds like either he is just doing it cause he can (I think when he acts out say on thurs that when he comes back like on mon he should have to face the consequences). Or maybe it is his way of saying he doesn't want to go to moms house. Or maybe he wants to be there all the time. Who knows with this age? They are complicated!!

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 10:53 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • He knows when he returns to his mom that he is not expected or required to behave the same way as at your home. He is also aware that on the days he returns to his BM that he "gets away with misbehaving." How old is he? Do you hold him accountable when he returns to you the next time? It is hard when you have 2 separate households and the rules are not followed through at both. I wish you luck!

    Answer by holfee at 5:56 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • He's just pushing his limits. Stick to your guns and in time he will learn what he is allowed to do at your house and what he is allowed to do at his Mom's house. My skids did this too, but after a while they stopped playing that game. They knew that we stuck by the rules at our house and there were always consequences. It's so hard for kids in this situation, but they need you to be consistent with them. Good luck!

    Answer by not-the-momma at 2:26 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I guess he should have consequences when he comes next time.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 8:49 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • he will get use to the change just let him be

    Answer by dorispierce at 1:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • We have the same problem with my step son who is 9. He will act up the day he leaves but when we get him next time he will serve his have to be consistent...

    Answer by Mrs.Norris at 4:19 AM on Nov. 25, 2010