Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Help!!! Need advice. What do I do?

Hi, everyone I am new at Cafe Mom and wanted to talk about my problem. I been married for 16 years and recently separated from my husband on March 2010. On April 2010 I met a man that is 10 years younger than me. My separation with my husband happended when he went to Iraq and it was clear that our relationship was over. He returned on September 2010 and He lives in our house but understands that we are trying to get a divorce. No one in my family knows this new person I have been going out with. I have 3 children from my marriage. I just found out I am pregnant. My ex will move out on Dec 4, 2010. My boyfriend is from Mexico and is not from the U.S. I don't know what to do. I have not told my bf that I am pregnant. I think he is not ready for this. Plus I am still married and don't know how my kids will see this. I feel alone and part of it is due to depression.

Answer Question
 
ruby722000

Asked by ruby722000 at 9:16 PM on Nov. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • well hun you are stuck in a deep rut....how far along are you? you ned to get that divorce a.s.a.p. like sooner than later!!!
    SMALLfry05

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 9:24 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Holy cow I don't even know what to say. Sounds crazy.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:24 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Where do i start ? You sound like your on track to finalizing your divorce , if i was in that position , i would talk to my kids about the changes that may be about to happen in their lives ...
    Mommymentor704

    Answer by Mommymentor704 at 9:25 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • im sorry im not sure what to say, thats alot going on. good luck
    meagan678

    Answer by meagan678 at 9:25 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • I think I am 3 weeks. Have not even gone to a doctor but already took two pregnancy tests plus my body has gone thru changes. Dont have the symptoms yet but I can tell I lost weight and my but got more formed.
    ruby722000

    Comment by ruby722000 (original poster) at 9:26 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • The worst thing is that I dont even know how to go to the process of divorce. Some people have told me to go to the attorney general but I dont know who or where is that at. I feel so dumb I have never gone thru a divorce.
    ruby722000

    Comment by ruby722000 (original poster) at 9:28 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • wow you have alot on your plate
    you need to find out what you want and after16yrs with your other half and finding out he not the one
    the kids come first no matter what and new baby on the way you just want wait before dating
    you need to heal before you move on ,
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 9:31 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • your child will be considered your husbands in the eyes of the law, because was conseived when married to him
    your husband will have to know
    this child is his until you have paterny settles through the courts
    just the way it is
    if you are going to have this child, he will know, unless you fall off the face of the earth, and having other kids with the husband, i assume you are that going to run away forever, so husband will know
    go to doctor, make sure you are, decide what you are going to do, then you have to be honest with husband, can tel kids later when showing but can not hide from kids forever
    what to do with telling moyfriend from another country?? do not know, what do you want to do with the boyfriend

    overlapping relationships not a good idea because stuff happens
    good luck and God bless
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:47 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • You need to inform your boyfriend and your husband that you are pregnant. Then you need to file for a divorce and get all of that out of the way now. The more you have cleared out of the way the easier it will be to deal with the situation. But you do need to inform your husband and your boyfriend that you are expecting. You also need to inform your children of the whole situation and allow them to express their feelings.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:14 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • You need to get your divorce done ASAP. If you are still legally married when this baby is born, your current husband will have to be listed on the birth certificate. This is the law. As long as you are still married there is nothing you can do in order to get the baby's real dad on it. Don't wait to tell your family, they are eventually going to find out. You can't hide it but so long. As far as your current BF goes, he needs to know too, whether he's ready for a baby or not, he needs to accept his responsibility and step up to the plate and be there for his child.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:54 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.