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My daughter has told me she's tired of school. She's starting to do those things that started her on a downhill grade spiral last year. I don't want a repeat. How has anyone else dealt with this? Thanks.

She's stated she thinks kids whose parents don't care have more fun. I don't know whether to take her to counseling or not. She hasn't responded well in the past. She's adopted and even though her father and I have tried to encourage her to do well and have aspirations for college, she's decided she doesn't want to go. She doesn't see any reason to go. Her father and I are both teachers...

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Asked by jensax at 8:01 PM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • This is a volatile age. I think my question pertains to her "spiral down". I know both my kids have ADD and I (finally) noticed a pattern: Semester 1) great, 2) poor, 3) better, 4) awful. Now I'm paying closer attention. She may need professional (therapy or even medication), but the real question is why does she spiral downward. You may think I'm crazy, but with my kids I sit down and ask them to tell me more. The key is to make sure you set the "mom and dad" thing aside and really listen to her. If she thinks she'll just get another speech, she'll shut up. I'll ask my daughter what she thinks, too, and let you know.

    Answer by WD40 at 9:45 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • As a teacher you know that there are many ways in which kids learn. Maybe the techique they use in her school isn't working for her. Maybe she is more artistic and free spirited or wants to experience life more than learn how the earth was formed. Maybe she's a hands on person and would do well in a VoTech school. What does she like? Is she into music more than math? Maybe she wants to direct movies or paint. Have her take an aptitude test and see what her skills are and go from there.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:47 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • hopefully it's just a phase. But if it get's worse maybe you should look into who she is associating with.

    Answer by h2obare at 6:30 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Ask her if she ever wants to be someone in the future and make lots of money. Tell her shew has to have a good job to get a house or apartment and pay bills. Tell her shes not gonna be in ur house past 18yrs old and she has to be able to get out and have a job. What if she gets pregnant and doesn't have money?? Tell her that. your the parent. Maybe she should change classes to something easier. Have her watch those shows about teens wanting to get pregnant or even drop out of school, like maury or something

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • All are good suggestions. She may feel A LOT of pressure from you guys because you are teachers. I agree with just sit and talk with her and DON'T give your advice no matter how much you want to. What happened with the counselor? Maybe she didn't feel comfortable or were the changes the counselor suggested not done? There are a lot of reasons this could be happening. Just let her talk and you don't, you'll be amazed what she may say if you act like you agree with her. Try to compromise. My daughter does NOT fit into the public school box at all and your daughter may not either. She is bright but she can not conform to the "box". There are lots of other options though. If nothing about learning is fun to the child, you'll never get through. And, what you think is fun or interesting may be a total bore...been there, done that.

    Answer by RentaMom at 5:50 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

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