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How do I restore my spirit?

and my 1 grader daughter's motivation to go to school, after she did not get a spirit excellency award when all her friends did? Her teacher wrote that she is excellent in everything, yet did not nominate her to the school award without much of the explanation why. My daughter was never so sad...

Overall her teacher prizes her work in terms- 'she was the first one to do that form of report', but not the content or form- how things done, which things are done right.

Answer Question

Asked by ganna04 at 8:00 AM on Nov. 17, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,468 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You just have to teach her that the reason we do things to the best of our ability is for our own knowledge that we have given our best effort. Tell her we have to learn to let that be enough, because the decisions of other people are always going to be objective and there will be things that they will miss or fail to see. Real satisfaction in life comes fromt he inside and not from how other people see us, and that includes teachers. That's what I would teach her, and I would use this experience as an opportunity to begin the process.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:04 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I'm not sure what the qualifications are for your school's spirit excellency award, but it never hurts to contact the teacher and ask what the terms are and if there was a reason your daughter did not get nominated. Perhaps the other girls did something special that your daughter was not a part of? Good luck.

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:05 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • This is a great teachable moment, to allow her to learn that one does not always win. I certainly wouldn't make excuses as to why she didn't win or to attribute her lack of an award to the decisions of others - that always just looks like laying blame and sour apples.
    You're wise to recognize also that, while her teacher praises her efforts to be willing to try new things, the content and form - both of which are very important - isn't always praised - perhaps more attention in these areas will help her to learn and grow.

    Answer by lovesergei at 8:12 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • The qualifications- are subjective nomination and judgment of the teacher. The teacher generally seem to overlook her- she forgot to assigned her to centers couple of times,forgot to take her to library, she does not ask her when my daughter raise the hand and generally does not seem to like people of my origin. The teacher is Latino origin and we are Russians. Of course it is all subjective and I might be wrong, but... I do not want to make this as explanation, certainly not to my daughter, but simultaneously I kind of feel hard time yet to make it a teachable moment, yet.


    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 8:30 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Thanks though guys, i guess i just need to think of it a bit more....

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 8:40 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Maybe you should celebrate her good grades yourself. Like if she gets all A's take her to Chuck E. Cheese's or something.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 11:28 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

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