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What do we owe our children financially?

I know the basics--roof over head, food, etc. But what about the extras? Are we supposed to do vacations, only or mostly new clothes, or all the newest toys? I grew up with none of that stuff and so did most of my friends and we were fine. Has times changed now were we are supposed go all out spending money on our children?


Asked by keisha613 at 8:53 AM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 26 (26,906 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • We owe our children love and support, neither of which can be paid for and neither of which can be replaced by material possessions. Every kid wants what they don't have to some degree, and there is always someone they know who has better toys at home, but that is just a part of life we all have to learn to live with because it's just a part of life.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:05 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Children - under 18....we owe clothing (what YOU can afford), food, a roof over their head. That is ALL we owe them. We don't owe them a college education, cell phones, cars, etc. Those are earned privileges that if you can afford to give them are wonderful....otherwise, your children can figure out how to earn them on their own.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:57 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • We don't "owe" our children anything. They are lucky to be alive. :) If it wasn't for us they wouldn't be here. After they grow up and get old and have everything they need, that's when they owe us something. They are to take care of us when we get old and no one else can do it.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 8:55 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • We don't owe our children new clothes or toys. Yes they need to be clothed, but second hand is fine with me! Toys are an extra, something that is nice but not needed! We are putting money in a CD for our son every month for college. I feel like, we know how hard it is to pay for college and we have the means to save for him ever month so why not help him? I don't think it is a must but I think it is something parents should try to do if they can, we push college so much why not help out some?

    Answer by ILoveCade at 9:01 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I think it is up to you....your values play a role in this.....I live very simply, and didn't lavish my children with things....sometimes they resented it because we were "different" than others, and one of my children wanted all those shiny things and even indulges her own child, now. That is her choice, and I don't think she is wrong, but I don't think I am wrong either.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 9:13 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I think we owe our kids love, support and guidance. We owe them good healthy food, a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs. I don't see anything wrong with hand me downs. They don't need to be in name brand clothes but they should be clean and nice. As far as toys that is a priviledge. If you can have the extras great but you don't need them. I have been known for making my 5 yr old "work" for her toys. She doesn't get every toy handed to her, she has chores and she can earn new things but we're trying to teach her to work for what you want. Don't get me wrong we do give them stuff but do make them work for some stuff too.

    Answer by Jessica45 at 9:31 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • cont

    In fact, I believe that spending beyond our means, or stretching our budgets to the very limits so that we can give our kids the very best of everything, leaving them wanting for nothing, instills a sense of entitlement and instant gratification that has done a lot of damage to our society. In fact, some might think it's a stretch, but I think it's that sense of entitlement and "I deserve it now" that has helped put our country in the mess it's in now - financially speaking.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:17 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • We don't "Owe" our children anything. They are not entitled to anything. They have no rights to anything. What they get is what they earn by providing us with good grades and good behavior. And when they get old enough they give back by doing chores. No child is entitled to anything in life, I don't care what financial family you're born into. Parents these days pamper their kids to avoid raising them. They will buy them the latest gadget to avoid having to tell them "No" and getting a tantrum. They buy them new clothes, even if they don't need them, to avoid hearing them whine. They buy their love and attention, and the kids allow it. I mean, who wouldn't accept new gifts? Parents these days, a majority of them, just have given up on being parents. So they raise greedy children who think the world owe's them for being alive.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:35 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • We owe our kids to do the best we can by them. To me, that does not mean lavishing them with material goods even when I can afford that. I do not believe that the consumerism and materialism rampant in our society is good for us or the Earth, and in my family I am not trying to perpetuate those dynamics of always having to have the newest, biggest, best.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 9:45 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Oh, don't get me wrong, my son is SPOILED! But he didn't NEED anything we got him. And he knows that. He is happier playing outside on the playground and running around with his friends then he ever is inside playing with toys or watching a movie :) And the Weasleys are awesome ;)

    Answer by ILoveCade at 9:48 AM on Nov. 17, 2010