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Gifts/giving to kids?

My dd came home w 5.00$ the other day. A boy gave it to her. I explained that his parents are probably not aware of this and then I told her it was nice of him and she should say thank you and politely return it. She came home the next day and said his mom said it was okay. So then I explained that she should tell him to keep it spend it on him self or put it up. Its his in some way he earned it or deserved it he should keep it. and then I asked her would she give her money away...she said no. So I then explained that she should not take nor expect from others. And she really needs to return it........ Now Im not sure if I handeled this correctly and I feel bad cause my dd just doesnt understand why she cant keep what was given to her. What would you do? and to add to this... this is a constent problem w both my dd's. They come home w pens, notebooks, toys and much more from friends.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Nov. 17, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I'd guess that the boy's mother said it was "ok" because she wants him to learn the consequences of giving away his money. I do totally understand why it's not ok with you and it would not be ok with me either. The problem isn't with what other people do - it's with your own children. They do need to learn not to take whatever they are offered. They do need to learn that, outside of a special occasion like a birthday party or a Christmas celebration, they should not be getting gifts from classmates (or others - think if a child offered drugs). The rule needs to be "say no-thank you and return what is offered to the owner.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 12:40 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Im also worried that my girls are going to become dependent on their looks. Everyone tells them how beautiful they are....I mean everyone. My soon to be 7 yr old wears a size 4 so people just think she so adorable that she says it now. Plus she has brown hair w blue eyes that stops traffic : ). And my 8yr old is blonde hair blue eyes. Im all for my girls haveing self confidence but I do not want it to effect their personalities. They are both kind sweet lil girls rght now but I know that can change if they get to much attention and they forget about what I tell them. I praise them for all their good doings and good deeds. But thay really do get alot of attention. I cant even go through a drive threw and get just a couple of burgers w out the drive threw person handing them toys.(I did not buy happy meals) I want my girls to be very giving and less recieving. I do not want them to depend on others or their looks. Any suggestion

    Comment by mymestey (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • i havent had to go through this yet, but i remember trading things with my friends at school. my parents never questioned it, i guess because they didnt know, but i wouldnt let my dd do it.

    Answer by tonyalynn at 6:58 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • My stepdaughter used to come home with money/toys/etc and we later found out she stole them. Now whenever she comes home with anything we tell her A. she shouldn't accept any gifts from other children because their parents may not want them to be giving their things away and B. I tell her that I'm going to call the parent of the child to make sure it was okay. Sometimes she will tell me not to call because the story was made up.

    Answer by not-the-momma at 7:45 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Maybe you should contact the boys parents just to be sure it was a gift?

    Answer by Shanna84 at 11:26 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • We used to trade toys all the time but it was always a trade. Money is different and just weird. Its hard sometimes to accept what your children understand. With your children being 7 and 8... they understand as long as you took the time to talk to them about it.

    Answer by seturkey at 3:49 PM on Nov. 18, 2010