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anyone ever ask you if your pregnancy or even your baby was UNPLANNED

when preganant someone asked me this
and someone even rude enough to say this to me when I was holding my new baby

yes, she was not planned by me, quite a surprise at 42!
but this is NOT what i said to these rude people

i said "She was God's plan"... it shut them up good, funny how bringing God into something like this shuts rude people right up

(do not know where to post, but God is a good place for this one- i think)


Asked by fiatpax at 9:55 AM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • That's so rude. If anyone ever asked me that I would look at them like a deer in the headlights and ask back "why would you ask that?"

    Answer by Syphon at 11:21 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Answer their question with one of your own, "Why would you ask such a personal question?" Then wait for their answer...

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 10:12 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • That is rude! Just because they consider you an older mom, means your child must have been a mistake? People need to think then open their mouths. I have never been asked, but people hint at it because I am not married.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 9:57 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I have a large family with two sets of very closely spaced siblings. I've gotten a lot of questions about my family planning choices from complete strangers. I find it incredibly rude and intrusive for people to ask me about my birth control choices. It isn't any of their business to ask intrusive questions to a stranger. Depending on my mood I either give them a snappy comeback (usually I tell them that I am trying to catch up with the Duggars so I can get my own TV show) or just use it as a teachable moment with my kids about it not being polite to comment on people's age, size, shape, color, family size, etc.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:07 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • AND congratulations on your little one!

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 10:12 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • confusedNow that I have read riotgrrl answer I see how it could be rude. My son has a babysitter and she had her first child at 45. I asked her if she got preg naturally. She said no and was fine with the question. So maybe I never really thought how it could be offensive. I guess it could be. People have ask me being a single mother if my son was planned and I say no and I dont feel weird about it because he wasn't. Doen't mean he less special just means I didnt know that I was having a baby and was surprised to find out. I see how it could be rude.


    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 10:14 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • People are so dumb sometimes and just open their mouths before they think about what they're saying. You just don't say things like that to strangers. Family and friends joked with us when I got pregnant with my youngest (our 4th child) by asking if we understood how people get pregnant. It was funny the first 8 billion times, and then it got old. If a stranger would've said something to me I'd have likely smacked them upside the head.

    What's wrong with having a child at 42? I didn't realize that we couldn't have babies once we hit 40. *shrugs* I'm 41 and nowhere near menopause, so if I I get pregnant I would only be surprised because my dh had a vasectomy years ago.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 10:57 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • i got the same question but for a different reason...DH and i had been married for about 4 months when we found out i was pregnant., she was very much a surprise. i usually just gave ppl a nervous explanation b/c i wasnt as secure as i am now. i like your response tho, i gotta remember that one...cause strangely its always religious ppl who ask me these kinda questions.

    Answer by okmanders at 10:15 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I think it is only okay if a close frined or family member ask if it was planned when you tell them your pregnant. Other than that its just rude. I had many many people ask me if I regret my decision to have my dd at 16 or refer to it as a mistake. And I always get fired up and explain that everything happens for a reason. If I wld have waited I wld not have my 2 beautifull dd's that I have now. Their personalities their looks. I may have ruined my chance to have kids if I didnt keep mine. Plus I feel my dd's saved me from going down the wrong path. So in the end I explain who am I to mess w gods plan. and For all you kow or those people who asked you your lil one may be a significantly important person in the future(not saying that your lil one wont be or isnt...u know what I mean). It is all gods plan and some people need to just keep their thoughts to their selves. And congrats on your very important lil suprise!

    Answer by mymestey at 10:16 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Yes of course because I had babies at 18 and 19. I also get asked if my DH is the dad and if they have the same dad. The answer is yes to both questions.

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:18 AM on Nov. 17, 2010