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How do i get my step daughter to understand that my daughter is not trying to ake her father away from her

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missalivia99

Asked by missalivia99 at 10:26 AM on Nov. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think we need more information. How old are the kids? How long have you been married to her father? This is a tough one. If the stepdaughter is living with her mother and your daughter lives with her father, it would be very natural for her to feel that way.

    I think it depends on their ages, etc. how you handle it.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:32 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • My step daughter is 13 and lives with her mother my daughter is 11 and lives with me. I have tried to explain to my step daughter that my daughter has a father of her own. I can understand that feels this way because she down not live with us.
    missalivia99

    Comment by missalivia99 (original poster) at 10:36 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I think when she stays with you, her dad needs to make some special time just for her, lunch and a movie, going to the park alone, time just for her. Time where they can talk about what's going on in her life, school, friends, etc. She's missing out on all of the day to day, and a little girl's dad, is really important to her. Talking to her about it won't make her feel that it's true, she needs some action right now, and mostly from him. You can plan some special time with your daughter when they spend time together.

    Good Luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:40 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Thanks for the advice!
    missalivia99

    Comment by missalivia99 (original poster) at 10:54 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • there isn't a whole lot you can do it'll be something they will work out on their own over time
    AprylnAtticus

    Answer by AprylnAtticus at 11:46 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I can sympathize with the step daughter. I went through the same thing when my parents divorced. My father remarried and she had a son and a daughter. I felt the same as your step-daughter does. When you have a parent taken away from you like that, it's hard to deal with. I felt like I had been replaced and my father was taken from me and I had no say in the matter. I was mad at my mother, my father and everyone because my "family" was not a family anymore. Her feelings are completely natural and it may be that her anger is misplaced. She may not be necessarily mad at your daughter, she may be having the same feelings I did about her parents divorcing and doesn't know how to deal with it. 18 years later, me and my step siblings are really close, we are like blood siblings. Don't condemn her for her feelings, help her work through them. Some family counseling may help her work through her anger and get to the real issue.
    lorig2010

    Answer by lorig2010 at 12:18 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

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