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What would you do?

Our boys just got over pneumonia. Just finished antibiotics this morning. Our 7 yr old had a partially collapsed lung when they diagnosed him. He was on 2 rounds of antibiotics. Our 8 yr old has asthma so he too was on 2 rounds of antibiotics. So a total of 2 weeks of this... Their bio dad lives with his Mom, they both smoke, a lot. The house is caked in nicotine, and they have had ample time to get it cleaned up. Our boys Dr wrote a letter stating that they aren't to be around smoke, or anything that has had nicotine on it for 2 weeks. A visit with their biodad is coming up, and our 8 yr old has an appointment with his Dr today. I'm going to ask her if it's okay if they go this weekend. If she says no, then I will ask her to put it in writing again. Their biodad is furious with me saying I'm keeping them from him, but refuses to clean up the house, and stop smoking in it, or his car. He say's it won't hurt them. WWYD? TY!


Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Kids' Health

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • My kids health would come first. If the dr didnt write a note for me I would still keep them home He could always take you back for contempt of court but that costs money and time. i would write a certified letter to him stating that youre concerned and he needs to stop smoking in front of the children and get his place cleaned up. That way you have evidence for court that you are concerned and not just trying to keep the kids away as soon as the kids feel better send them and hopefully he cares enough about the kids to clean up his place.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:31 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Do you stay while they visit, or do they stay with him for the week/weekend? If it is a supervised visit, I would just tell him what the dr said and offer to meet him somewhere outside of his home like a park or mall for a visit. Good luck to you.

    Answer by Kword at 11:30 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I don't think it's fair to keep them from the father. I do think you should educate him, not keep them from going. They need to be responsible adults and not smoke in front of them at all. Air out the house before they come.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • i would not allow them to go to his house. offer to let him take them out for a day or something, or see them at your house, or meet at a public place, but especially if the doctor said not to be around smoke i would not allow them to go to his house. if you have it in writing he can not dispute it or blame you.

    Answer by annanonnymommy at 11:37 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • OP---- I do have sole physical custody, and he has unsupervised visitation the 1st and 3rd weekend of every month, and this year he's supposed to have them over the Thanksgiving holiday (5 days).... I do not keep them from him, but when the Dr. said they were not to go the last time they were at the Dr. it threw up a red flag for me... It finally made me realize that it's affecting their lungs when they are around all of the smoke. We don't smoke at all so they aren't around it at all when they're home. We don't even know anyone that smokes anymore... I was aware that it's bad for you no matter what, sick or not, but it just hit me when our 8 yr old was blowing in his peak flow meter and it's only at 200 when he's healthy, and should be around 300... It's so hard for their biodad to understand, I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall.. Ty ladies.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:37 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I would not let them go if the doctor says no. If their bio doesn't like it then I guess he should make changes to help himself out.

    Answer by bellsandheels at 11:50 AM on Nov. 17, 2010