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why do i have to go on vacation without my kids?

people keep asking me why my husband and i dont want to go on vacation without the kids. we've been married 7 years, my kids are 1.5 and 4 and i am content, i want my children to be with me all the time. my 4 yo has only been away from me 2 nights his whole life, first when my daughter was born (his aunt came and stayed at our house) and 1 sleepover.

we are all going on a vacation in january and i would have absolutely no desire to go without my kids...and yes, they do annoy me occassionally but even on the worst day, i wouldnt want to miss tucking them in at night. i think my husband might like going without them but we've never discussed it because i would never do it.

do you like to go away on vacation without your kids? if yes, how old are they and how long have you been married? do you think i need to be away from my kids more? am i doing something harmful to them by keeping them with me all the time.

Answer Question
 
acounard

Asked by acounard at 1:57 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (202 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would never do it either. My oldest is 15, youngest is 5. I would miss them so much on vacation. We always have the best family time on vacation.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 1:59 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • never been mor than night out w/o our kids,
    raisingmen

    Answer by raisingmen at 2:01 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • You are not doing anything harmful by staying with your kids. My dd is 8 and I have gone once or twice on a mini trip without her. Once I was going to a friends graduation in texas and they had alot of adult things going on and I wouldnt have had anyone to watch her. She had a blast at my moms. I wouldnt want to go to the beach or anything big without her because I would want to experience it with me!! I cant afford many vacations and I love for her to see the world with me. If you are happy who cares what others say. When the kids are older you may want to spend a night or 2 in a hotel for your anniversary but they are still little just enjoy them!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:03 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • You don't. People try to project their b.s. onto you. They don't like hanging out with their kids so they expect that you don't either. The fact that some of us truly love to be with our children scares the people who don't.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 2:03 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I don't understand those parents who go without their kids. I swear the best vaccations I have ever had are with my kids. Yeah ok, I could go to clubs, and whatever without them. But really why would I want to waste a day being hungover on vaccation, which only happens once every how many years! I'd be bord out of my mind if it was just my husband and me, we'd probably come home early and be with them.
    b_stotka

    Answer by b_stotka at 2:19 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • We have taken vacations with our children and we have taken vacations without them as well. There are advantages to both. A family vacation is great, but sometimes some alone time with your partner is wonderful as well. The two of you were a couple before having children and will be (hopefully) a couple long after the children have grown up and moved out. It is healthy to have some adult time with the one you love. I wouldn't trade the time my husband and I spent alone enjoying each other's company for anything - that time is important and valuable. And it is important and valuable for the children as well, to get some time to learn that it's ok to be separated from loved ones, that parents (when able) return, that a little distance can be healthy, that it's ok to learn new things, go new places, be with different people ... it's all part of growing up.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 2:29 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • thank you caseyandkids. i think that you touched on something that i was thinking in the back of my mind. while i dont want to go anywhere without my kids, i wonder if it will have an effect on my marriage by not having more alone time. this stems from my stepfather recently leaving my mother after 24 years of marriage. while i dont feel like we are having any problems, i sometimes wonder what goes on inside that male head of his. my husband is not much of a talker and i struggle getting any real emotions out of him...i feel like things are fine, but the

    acounard

    Comment by acounard (original poster) at 2:38 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I don't like to go anywhere without my kids, much less vacation. It's family time... I don't frown on people who do but its just not for me. maybe when they get a little older. Husband/wife time is nice but i'll take mine out to dinner or something. You sound like a very loving mom!
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 2:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Just do what you feel comfortable wtih and don't think into it too much. I don't think you will do harm either way.
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 2:55 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • there is nothing wrong with going on vacation with your kids and there is nothing wrong going on vacation without them. when my hubby is back from deployment (1yr long) we are spending some time as a family (we some fun stuff planned that we are all excited about) and then my mil is coming and staying with all 4 girls (6,5,2,1) and me and him are finally going on a real vacation. we havent had one since before we got married and we didnt have time for a honeymoon (only saw him for 4hrs the day we got married and then i got pregnant right away). so we feel after 7 and a half years of marriage and 4 kids we can finally take one. i would not do it though if we both werent comfortable and know that our girls would be taken care of. if you feel you need some time together without the kids around you could always start small. maybe dinners out or something.
    tiffanyv123

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 4:40 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

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