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3 Bumps

Am I a victim of Domestic Violence?

Even if I pushed and slapped him first?

Answer Question
 
Bumble_She

Asked by Bumble_She at 3:50 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (109 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • You're a victim AND abuser. You both need help.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:51 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Seriously? Neither of you need to putting your hands on the other. I'm sorry but if you slapped and pushed him first, he has a right to defend himself.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 3:51 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • My father always says under no circumstances does a guy have to hit a woman!!! What happened? WWhy did u hit him?
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • You're both victims and you both can be arrested for abuse.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 3:53 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • the thing is what happen that it ended up this way
    Gen

    Answer by Gen at 3:54 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Dancer - I'd normally agree with you. I know of a guy who was always being abused by his gf. He got to the point that he had to start defending himself.... after broken noses and cracked ribs. He's a gentle man, but she knew how to push his buttons.

    I do agree that both parties need some help
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 3:54 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • My opinion.

    Your are the abuser first... A victim second.

    You are the abuser, and the aggressor. You were violent first.

    Yes, he may have been defending himself, however he had no more right to lay hands on you than you had to lay hands on him. He should have called the police on you and had you picked up for domestic violence. In a he said she said situation, usually the woman's word is taken (unless it is glaringly obvious that she is unharmed and the man has been harmed) due to the whole social idea that a man can not be abused.

    I would suggest you seek help for your abusiveness.
    I would suggest he not retaliate next time you are abusive, and call the police.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:55 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Some women probably grew up around the woman hitting the guy! It is wrong on both sides. They need to get away from each other!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:56 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Yeah I agree with all the others, you provoked the fight, did you just expect him to stand there and take it?
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 3:59 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • All of you all are correct. I went and told the police that I slapped him first and I knew I shouldn't have. All this started because I found out he was still calling one of his old co-workers and lied and said he wasn't. So I started moving his things out of the apartment. Then he told me if I touched another one of his thinsg he was going to do something to me. So, he did, he grabbed me in front of our kids and threw me over the love seat in our living room and then walked away and told me he wasn't going anywhere. Then he pushed me down again for trying to tell him to leave again...... he didn't get arrested because of me, he got arrested because he was mouthing off at the cops.
    Bumble_She

    Comment by Bumble_She (original poster) at 4:06 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

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