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Would you consider this cheating ?

a little over a year ago I became friends with a guy, he was a family friend and I technically met him through my brother... we got closer and I fell for him... we hung out and he was very great around my kids. I really thought that we would end up together but then last January he was deployed ... He just now got home and I have only heard from him once even though I know many other people got phone calls and letters from him the whole time he was gone. In the one letter he sent me he told me he didnt want to "hold me back" and basically just that he cared for me but that we were not together...

It hurt ( I basically assumed it was a write off) but I went on. About 6 months later I started dating another guy who I plan on marrying ( I know he already bought me the ring) and I am very happy ...

Both fo these guys are friends of my brother ( they are all firemen) *continued*

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • when guy#1 first got home he was upset that I had actually moved on, even tried to start a fight with my SO ...

    of course we live in a small time, and there is alot of people calling me names, telling my SO not to trust me since I cheated on guy #1... Maybe I just dont get it, but how exactly did I cheat ?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:18 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • No,I wouldn't consider you a cheater.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:19 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • You did not cheat, so don't worry about it.

    Answer by older at 7:19 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • doesn't sound like you cheated to me. He told you to move on, but maybe was hoping you wouldn't. Which is why he is upset. But he needs to learn that you can't play mind games with people, give hints or have certain expectations. When you say something to someone, they will most likely take it literally. You did nothing wrong, honestly. Congrats on finding love and your future wedding :)

    Answer by CJM_SHM at 7:21 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't consider that cheating. I think he's just upset that he didn't realize what he was losing until it was to late.

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 7:22 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I would set down Service guy and explain that you got a blow off letter. He should have kept the good thing he has close. Too bad. Guy number two should be reassured that first relationship was over before you started up with him. If he is the one, he will stay and all will be good. Good Luck!

    Answer by dancinintherain at 7:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Not cheating. I'd be cutting him loose. He obviously has some problems you don't need to get involved in. Stick with the guy who isn't crazy

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:24 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Not cheating!

    Answer by mommyg24 at 7:28 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • My current SO doesnt believe it, and is a very nice, stand up guy.... but the fact that he ( and my brother) is around this other guy everyday at the firehouse... it is just frustrating...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:35 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • If he told you not to wait for him you were under no obligation to him. If he wanted you to wait, he should have said so - then at least you could have told him whether or not you were willing to. If you still have the letter where he told you to not to wait, I would show it to your SO just so he can be reassured that you really weren't under any sort of understanding with the first guy. If guy #1 really cared that much he should be telling people that he told you not to wait for him, though. I can understand him being upset, but even so, he should admit that you had made him no promises and he had told you that he didn't want to hold you back.

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 7:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

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