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MIL problem...

I need some serious help!

I'm been with my SO for over 3 years now. We love eachother, we love eachother's family. We're pretty family oriented. I have a son from a previous relationship. And to top it off, I've got a bun in the oven! YAY!

My problem is, my MIL is a functioning alcoholic. She's not violent but I can say she doesn't always make the best choices. This will be her first grand baby and from her oldest child so it's a very big deal. I'm trying to be proacvtive about this because she keeps talking about watching the baby and I really want her to get help. I'm not here to judge her or to label her, but I can't in my good mind allow her to watch the baby. And I'm really close with her - probably closer than my SO. I talk to her every day. And he said he'd take care of it but I don't think he's going to.

Any advise?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Time to run a little intervention. Sometimes there is no easy way to say the truth, and it hurts. Tough love, you know? You can still be tactful, but firm in your statements, and get her some help.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:28 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • It's not an issue of "get her some help". She has to want help, she has to seek help, and you can't make her do it - and even if you could, it wouldn't be effective because she wasn't the one who wanted it.

    It's an issue of keeping your child safe. I'd definitely let her watch your baby - but only when you're home and supervising. That way, she could have some bonding time with the baby and you could accomplish things that you may want to do while you're on-hand to keep an eye on things.

    There's certainly nothing wrong with telling her that she can't babysit when you're not there as long as she's still drinking - but don't expect that statement to change a single thing.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 7:33 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Well, the problem is, we've never really brought it up to her and she doesn't think there is a problem. I think if we toughed it out and took the risk of hurting her feelings, she would be upset initially but ultimately she'd get some help. It's the uncomfortable part of breaking the news to her. I hate bringing it up with my SO too b/c I know he hates talking about it. Sigh...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:38 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • let him take care of , if he doesnt then you take care

    Answer by dorispierce at 8:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

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