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My mom doesnt want us to move out of her house. Anyone experience this?

We are 27 with a 4yo. We have always lived with my mom. She has said many times she doesnt want to live alone (dad passed away when i was 16). It scares her. I know she wont ever cook for herself. And not having anyone daily around is going to drive her nuts
We have decided we want to move. We want our own space. Our own rules. Be able to parent our dd more and so on.
Anyone else been through this, parent not wanting you to move? Or maybe you wanted your adult child to stay at home (even when they where starting their own family).
I feel very guilty cause its going to be hard for her & my dd.. But gezz this is a normal part of life, right!? What type of parent holds their child back from living their own life for their own satisfaction?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Sounds like you have a good idea and a good plan to present to her. I like the idea of a mother-in-law suite or a second house on the same property. Good luck!
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 9:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • She is just afraid of being alone and of being lonely. It's normal. Maybe you could give her a set time frame in which you'll move, just to be prepare her emotionally? And maybe invite her over for dinner once a week?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • i have the same problem only its my dad!! he doesnt want us to move out! they are moving this summer and are looking at houses with an in-law suit for us! my hubby thinks its a great idea and is all for living with them forever! i want out! i want my own stuff and my mother is driving me crazy!!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 8:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • my mom has been telling me since i was teenager that we should get a mother daughter house and thats what i plan on doing. so that we both have our own little house, but they are attached. for her, and for me. i love my mom & shes always been there for me, so why would i abondon her.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:48 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • aww thats sad! Maybe you guys could consider selling her house and using the money to buy a new house that has or you can build a mother in law suite..that way she still feels the closeness but you all have your own space.
    LiviLove613

    Answer by LiviLove613 at 9:06 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • awww my son is 18 and i dont want him to leave,,, I dont think u ever understand til ur a mom with a grown child wanting to leave,,, It s heartbreaking, and funny , i spent my life thinking how happy I,d be when there grown and can take care of themselves now I wish they were little and still needed me....
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 9:31 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • She can get a roommate. My mom was like that. She was smothering me and I had to get out. She ended up liking being alone once I was gone.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:48 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • How about a home with an in-law suite? I would love to have my mother or mother in law around all the time.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • MINE!! My mom hates the fact that I'm not home anymore and that I have my own life. My son adores her and she adores him!! She's living with my grandma helping to take care of her. My mom doesn't drive and finds any excuse for us to take her places so she can spend time with hubby and I. I don't mind helping her, but it gets a bit much. She relies on me for EVERYTHING!! When my grandma passes she will end up moving in with us (which I'm not happy about) because she just can't do it on her own. She's lonely and that's all there is. She calls me 98734598734957834597345 times a day, no lie. It's just so stressful. Why can't she just let go? I feel pressured when it comes to helping her all the time because of everything she has helped me with, and still sometimes does...
    So when you find good advice, let me know, please. It's driving me NUTS!
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 8:47 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • in the next few days we plan on telling her our plans... We will actually move out in january (dont want to move out during the holidays & leave her alone during this time of year)..
    Depending on what she does or starts talking about we do plan on telling her that selling her house & moving where 2 houses can be on 1 piece of land.. that would be great.... id worry about my daughter constantly wanting to be there though (my mom would let her live off junk food)... But honestly being on 1 land would be perfect.. cause we still are going to have to help mom with yard chores & stuff so might as well be "OUR" yard...
    So yes in a way im really praying that is the way it will go.. and in the next 6mo we will be in another house.. its just all coming to a head & we need our space.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

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