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Why is that these young "adults" think they deserve everything from everyone? Aren't you always going to be there, Mom?

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IamagoodMom628

Asked by IamagoodMom628 at 8:44 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • umm...not every young adult is like that...i'm 21, and don't expect everything....my dh's brother are like this..drives me insane...i don't have an answer for you specifically, but with my family, i think the reason is because of how hard our parents came down on us...my mom was easier on my sister about a lot of things, while i was expected to do things like have a job (when i got a job my mom stopped paying for everything extra like gas and stuff i would need or want, and my sister was handed this kind of stuff...i didn't have it hard by any means, and yes, i was spoiled to an extent, but more things were expected of me)...and my in laws, at least my mil has specifically came out and said that with each one it got progressively worse, for lack of a better word.....like the middle brother was apparently really hard to handle, and it apparently go to the point where she would throw in the towel, so there's really no right ansr
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 8:50 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Thanks, mom to Kenzie. I understand that not all young adults are this way. Mine is 20, gay, and has a mental/emotional disorder. Just like his mom. Yes, a lot more was required of him but more by his regimented father and lack of participation in his life.

    You actually helped with this question believe it or not. I didn't expect to get the other side's view and I respect you for that. I'm sure you will do well in your life because you have to.

    IamagoodMom628

    Comment by IamagoodMom628 (original poster) at 8:55 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • It is the fact that many parents of my generation and the ones consecutively after tried to give their children the wold. So many of my friends parents were trying to give their children all the things they never had and never expected much in return for it. You can give kids a lot but when they think they deserve everything instead of having to work for it teaches them that is how the world works. They believe that the world should just hand them everything because this IS what happened as they grew up. It rarely has to do with how much but more of what was expected of a child. How does one learn to work for something when they never had to.
    daisysrdeadly

    Answer by daisysrdeadly at 9:12 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • I totally understand where you are coming from. I have three adult kids. I think the problem lies more so with society in general. When I was growing up, I was taught to respect my elders, obey my parents and be of good character. Today's young adults have been lavished with material things, and given so much self-esteem that many of them act entitled. Blame it on the shrinks from the 80s and early 90s that fostered a child's self esteem. Nothing wrong with a child having self esteem as long as it doesn't become narcissism!
    Today most schools won't allow a child to give out invites to a birthday party unless everyone is invited. I don't agree with it. Should we invite the class bully and let him ruin the party? Maybe if children learned to suffer the natural consequences for their actions at a young age they won't grow up to be entitled spoiled and very immature adults.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 12:32 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My son got that attitude from his father but my two dd's learned they have to earn what they get. The daughters deal well with life and my son is miserable and whatever he gets, it's not enough. Sad but his dad and step mother are to blame for that bs.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:46 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I know, it's craziness! I don't mind helping the kids but I was pretty much self sufficient by the time I was 21.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 6:38 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I have been my grown kids support system since they were born, now that they are grown, they were given everything and more, and now as adults they make me proud for they are productive human beings and never did they act like they deserved anything. they are 33 32 and 23.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:28 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • they are used to getting what they want because they always have.I will help my adult children with nescetties but not pay for medicures,expensive clothing or things they need to earn that them selves
    slyvester

    Answer by slyvester at 2:39 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Because they weren't taught to be responsible for buying wants as soon as they were capable of working part time, because they have had someone doing everything for them since they were born, because they haven't had the responsibilty of chores, because even as they grew up and became independent adults who lived on their own they still have parents helping out with their bills because they don't want their child to do without or to struggle. We have raised a society of people who expect their parentss to make sure they are taken care of no matter what and no matter how old they are. I provide emotionalssupport for my adult children, I do not provide financial support and my sons learned young the difference between wants and needs and that needs always comes over wants.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 3:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I feel your pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:42 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

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