Ack! He needs to get un-confused and fast! Either he ditches the lover, makes a renewed commitment to his wife, and you both go to couples counseling, or there is no hope. He has to want it in order to put the work in. I wish you had kicked him out, he stepped out of the marriage, he should be the one to step out of the house, especially being as you have had to displace your son and you'll have a new baby that will need to come home in 10 weeks. How dare he bring her into your home? Just yuck!
On another note, assuming he isn't a sex addict or habitual liar/cheater, I can tell you right now why he feels torn. You are meeting some of his needs and she is meeting others. The lover usually meets one or two needs that have gone unmet in the marriage, while the spouse is still meeting others. That's why people become depressed when they make a decision, either way. (cont.)
at 10:10 PM on Nov. 17, 2010