Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Delivery Room?

So in the beginning I was okay with 4 in the room. myself, my husband, my mother, and his mother.. UNTIL my MIL told me that she would be at my feet. ? I am not comfortable with that at ALL. and too me that is just a little wierd. i dont want her seeing my VaJJ. ugh just the thought grosses me out.. anyway. so my mom said she didnt want to be in there if I wasnt going to let his mom so there wouldnt be any feelings being hurt. and she even said that if i did she would want to because my MIL irks me badly..with patting and touching and treating people like they are infants (talking to them, and feely touchy ALL the time) anyways so with me being in pain my mom fears i wont be able to hold it back like i normally do.. and if my MIL decided to go agaisnt my wishes and try to sneak down there I would flip out.. and so it would hurt my MIL feelings and my husbands feelings. I dont want her in there period but i do want my CONT


Asked by Ross2010 at 11:08 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I only had my husband in there and it was such a beautiful experience for the two of us. That first moment that the baby arrives is so special for parents - it literally feels like time stops. Having 4 people in there, no matter who it is, on top of the doctors and nurses, might be overwhelming for you, especially since you'll be in labor. Either way, when that baby comes out you are not going to even notice anyone else in the room!

    Answer by tarakenyon06 at 11:16 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • In my opinion, if you aren't medial staff and you didn't help make the baby, you shouldn't be in the delivery room... That includes mothers... But that's me.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:29 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Tell her your doctor says only two people, your mom and dad.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:14 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Well I am definitely a believer that you should not feel pressured to have anyone in the room that you don't want in there. I only had my fiance even though my mother in law BEGGED me to let her come in. I was just not comfortable with the fact that she would be seeing me spread eagle and everything...and I didn't want to have to worry about that while I was trying to give birth. The less stress the better. So anyways, I think you need to have whomever you want in the room and no one else. However...I definitely think your MILs feelings are going to be hurt if you decide you don't want her in there but everyone else can be. I'm not saying that you should let her be in there just because her feelings might be hurt, I'm just saying be prepared for that. If it were me...I would have my mom stay outside the room too.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:17 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Why not tell her that you are happy to have her there but you want to call her in at the end to keep things quiet while you are laboring, there is usually some warning once you start crowning so your mother could go out and get her. That way she isn't there the whole time and has less of a chance to get under your skin. There are so many people at the end of the bed it's hard to get a front row seat with all the nurses and doctors. Tell your nurse ahead that you'd like mother in law by the side or nearer the head of the bed, the nurse can probably just say "Ma'am I need you to stand over to this side here please" simply enough. I think it would be a shame to miss out having your mother there. And you can always prepare MIL ahead with something like "I want to warn you I could get testy so don't take anything personally that I do in the stress of the moment."

    Answer by MaryMW at 11:21 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Your husband should handle his own mother. Mine would because it's his family.

    Answer by MyGiftsFromGod at 12:12 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • i do want my mom in there so we can have pictures like we had with my daughter (this is my husbands 1st and MIL 1st grandchild) so my mom was in the delivery room with my daughter and got pictures of the clock/her when she was born (from shoulder view) but she cant be in there bc they would be upset but my husband isnt going to want to have to worry about taking pictures or the right pictures when our son is born.. so i dont know what to do.

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • i have planned to have certain people be ther and certain ones who werent, when your pushing you could litterally have an entire circus in the room all videotaping your vag and you really wouldnt notice or care. maybe just talk to you MIL and tell her that you dont want her staring at it.

    Answer by momslikeme366 at 11:21 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Let the nursing staff know. Let them be the "mean" ones. They don't have a problem with it. YOU are the one giving birth, not your DH, and your MIL can come in once placenta has been delivered and you're sewn up if needed. Just have it so that your mom doesn't get to hold the baby until your MIL is there, and let her hold him/her first. If you're uncomfortable with your labor, you will actually SLOW IT DOWN. If you need to, explain that to your husband. You might say a lot of things that will hurt his feelings when you're in labor! =)

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:25 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Just a suggestion...If you cant get out of your MIL not being there then have your DH handle his own mother (i.e. keeping her at the top of the bed, having her getting your ice/cold clothes, or whatever else you could possibly need). He of all people should respect how you want to be treated and "VIEWED". Keeping in mind this will be her and DH's first birth witnessing, so maybe she was just a little too excited and not thinking properly?! Good luck!

    Answer by mommy_bink at 11:49 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

Next question in Relationships

Next question overall (Health)