Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Someone please talk me out of this

I want another baby so bad. I really want my DD (2) to have a sibling to grow up with, and she runs around saying, "baby brudder" and it makes me so sad. I'm 20 and will be married to my DD's father one day. We only make minimum wage though, and I dont think we can afford another one. Someone please talk me out of this, or try to make me feel better.

Answer Question

Asked by sunshineemommy at 11:34 PM on Nov. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 16 (3,085 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I'm sorry sweetie, but now is definitely not a good time to have another child. Baby fever is a hard one to break. If either of you are willing to join the military, you'll have a set, steady paycheck for at least four years.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:36 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • well, all i can say is that if you feel so strongly that its not a good idea that you have to have people talk you out of it, then i would wait. but also on the other hand, its your call, sometimes you struggle a bit, but in the end you make it work.

    Answer by momslikeme366 at 11:37 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Definitely wait. I imagine you're already struggling with finances now, and you don't want to make it worse. Wait until you have gotten things more on track to have another.
    We're itching for a second, but right now, the timing isn't right. DH was laid off, and I go to school full time. DS is also 2, and wants a baby, and I have AWFUL baby-itis. I just have to live vicariously through friends with babies.

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:38 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Oh baby.

    She's only two.

    But baby fever is hard.

    Nothing I can type will make you feel better but you've got to make sure you can take care of your girl now, right now, and then save up (baby fund!) and Lord help me you are so young and I wish I had your energy. Do you have your degree? Do you have any prospects for a better job? Can you put together some kind of timeline that says - ok, two years will be baby time?

    Baby fever is hard.

    But being awake in the middle of the night because you can't figure out how to pay your bills and insurance and food and take care of your family is so much harder.


    Answer by Wimsey at 11:39 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • Thanks guys, I am going to school but it takes 6 years of school to get a job in what I want, and I just started not too long ago. I'm hoping my SO will get his degree soon so we can figure something out.

    Comment by sunshineemommy (original poster) at 11:44 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • If you are trying to talk yourself out of it then i would wait.. on the other hand.. if you want another for her to grow up with then i would do it soon. you can never truely be PREPARED for a child or more children. they will ALWAYS cost an arm and a leg but the heart is what gets the benifits ;) the way i look at it is.. when your happy and you love them.. it is all worth it. at times it will be a struggle but it will be worth it in the end. but think HARD on it. i know its worth the struggle but are you willing to go through that struggle right now?? Me personally would wait.. even though I know how much I will be rewarded in the end. at least wait a while. i agree the insurance bills etc are things that worrying about is NO fun at all. but taking care of your family will not be an issue if you manage what you have and do it wisely

    Answer by Ross2010 at 11:49 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • The decision is ultimately yours, but I can tell you now that you will be much happier if you work toward becoming financially stable for the child you have now, and then have another baby. I know that you want another baby now, and it is hard to tell yourself to wait - I want another baby too. But we're not ready... and we wouldn't be able to give another child everything he/she needed right now.

    Wait it out. I know it's tough and you're feeling baby crazy, but it will be better in the long run if you prepare yourselves first.

    Answer by Holly. at 11:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

  • You have plenty of time to have another child. It's hard to wait but in the long run you will be glad you did. Love the one you have like she was two children! Good luck with school!

    Answer by chris219 at 12:35 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • You're 20 yrs old and making minimum wage. If you are still in school the timing is just not right, and there is nothing wrong with waiting. More and more women are having children in the 30"s these days. There is nothing wrong with that. Some people would prefer to have some financial stability before having a child. Besides there is an 11 yr difference between my oldest and youngest. Not to mention me and my sister are ten years apart.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:43 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Obvious answer is that you are SO much time to have another child ahead of you when you can afford it.

    Is it fair to bring a child into the world that you really can't afford right now? I think it is better to wait on the baby brudder and be able to pay for the baby you have.

    I was an only child, it has its perks!

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:03 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.