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I'm so frustrated/ hurt

My aunt & sis watch my dd while i attend school & its a constant battle with them bc of my nephew & dd. They are always fighting. I feel like my nephew acts out & picks on her. Shes only 13mths (not walking either) and hes 5! Hes thrown so many things at her frm toys to an empty can of soda. At her head/face to be exact and tries to scare her purposely too. I love my nephew but i dnt know why he does it. My sis & aunt dont make it any better. They dont give him any consequences. Hes the "baby" and my dd aint bc she dont live there. I am so sick of how they favor him or laugh at his physical behavior. They can smack my dds hand "no" but not punish my nephew. Hows that right or fair? We blew up at each other earlier and i decided to stop taking my dd there for babysitting. Its hurts i want her with her fam but hate how my nephew picks on her and how they think it her starting it! Shes only 1! What do i do?

Answer Question
 
mercy928

Asked by mercy928 at 12:20 AM on Nov. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (490 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Find another babysitter. Hang out with your family on the evenings or weekends, but if you don't like the way your child is treated, then stop taking her there.
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 12:24 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • That would tell me a lot. Despite he might be their baby, he's not yours. You have every right to feel the way you do about the way they treat your daughter. I would definitely look into someone else watching your child while you are at work. Both you and your daughter don't need that, it's not fair to either of you.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:29 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Your nephew is showing signs of sibling rivalry. The adults should correct him or he will grow up to be one of those bullies we read about in the paper. Your first and biggest obligation is to your child. Find another sitter. It may also help you to still have a relationship with your sister and aunt, because if you keep taking your child there eventually it will be a major blow out if and when your kid gets really hurt.
    Sorry that this has happened. It is better if at all possible to have family watch your children.
    chris219

    Answer by chris219 at 12:31 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Have you told your aunt and sister how you feel? If not--even though it should be obvious to them--I would lay down ground rules for how they should intervene when your nephew is around your daughter. Chances are, though, you've already done this and as they will not change their attitudes toward the potentially dangerous relationship (your nephew could do some serious harm to her), it is best for both of you to take her out of that situation & find another babysitter. I have been in a similar situation. I took my son (17 months at the time) to visit some relatives and his cousin (who is 1-1/2 years older than him) twisted his wrists while looking at my hubby and me with an angelic smile (just 1 example)! I was floored & my cousin was completely clueless/in denial that her precious boy could do anyone any harm. Since then, when we visit, we do not stay there. Yeah, it's sad, but I'd rather keep my children safe.
    Chocolatespring

    Answer by Chocolatespring at 12:49 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Its hard chocolatespring, when they dont think their kids are in the wrong. They taught her how to fight/ get mad fast.
    mercy928

    Comment by mercy928 (original poster) at 12:52 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • They aren't going to change and really, expecting them to is kind of asking a lot. Find another place to take your DD and spend time with them when you can be there with your DD to ensure he isn't picking on her. My husband's nephew is a lot like this with our twins and I want to smack the little jerk for the way he treats my wee ones. His mom is always offering to babysit and take the kids over night so we can go out and I always find a good excuse but the real reason is I don't trust him and his parents are blind to most of what he does.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:54 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • You have to protect your daughter. That's your first job as her mother. They had their chance and they blew it. Just because they are family, they shouldn't treat your little girl this way. Visit, but don't leave her unprotected
    RedRowan

    Answer by RedRowan at 9:59 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Your child should be in a safe environment. There will always be a little jealousy or sibling rivalry, but no child should get a free pass to hurt another child. If your family think what the boy is doing is okay then no way would I leave my child there, something really bad could happen and it would not be the little boys fault..the grownups are the responsible ones so they should act like it. It must be hard to deal with this since they are your family, but if it were the other way around, I doubt they would think the behavior was funny.
    meg4763

    Answer by meg4763 at 12:50 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

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