Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you deal with the fact that you may never have more kids?

My SO wants to wait to pay off debt, which I understand. But, I'm almost 36 years old, and to wait as long as he wants to, I will be 37 before trying and I've already had a 2nd trimester miscarriage and a 1 st trimester miscarriage. I'm terrified that I won't have more children and it hurts. How do I move past thig?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (8)
  • Have you explained all of this to your DH? Does he understand that while debt will always be there a child won't?

    You are already considered to be of advanced maternal age. Waiting two more years, especially with your history, would be reporductively irresponsible.

    Adoption can cost more than 20 thousand dollars. How much debit will you have then?

    I would bring these things up to him. If he still won't couseling. Many women need grief counsling to get through something like this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Grateful....

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 7:52 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Explain to him that the longer you wait the harder it will be to conceive. The debt will still be there. The chance of you being able to conceive might not. Just talk to him about it. Sometimes you just have to sit them down like a child and point out the facts.

    Answer by arenad at 8:59 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Good Luck hope you two can work out something!

    Answer by BeautyFromPain at 9:23 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • If you let your SO know all of the facts and risks of waiting vs. not waiting then I am sure he will reconsider. I am only 26 and I thought it would be so easy to get pregnant again, but my husband is on synthetic testosterone bc his was so low, and now his sperm count could be nonexistent bc of it. So now I may never be able to get pregnant bc he can not stop the medicine. I feel your pain totally. Just talk to him, bc atleast you all still have a chance. I just keep on praying that God will give us another baby even though the medicine is likely preventing it. Good luck!

    Answer by meg4763 at 9:57 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Thank you for the responses. I was having a hard time with this last night. I've always wanted more children, and after the discussion with my SO, it was really hard to face that I may not have them. It doesn't help that I see my children 50% of the time because their father and I share custody, and half the time, I'm working. I did talk with SO, so I am slightly more hopeful :)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:56 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Oh, and I'm not sure what the grateful response was for, but I am very grateful-for my beautiful children, my loving SO, for the life that I have. That does not preclude me from wanting more children.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:57 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Just tell your hubbie that your clock is ticking.
    bills will always be there
    tell how much fun he can have while trying

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 1:00 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.