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4 Bumps

The other woman?

Has anyone ever been the other woman? How did it change your life? What made you decide to do it in the first place? I always said I'd never be the other woman but I've found myself in a situation where this man is engaged but he known to play when his woman's away and she works overnights. I am justifying it as their relationship is already flawed and if it wasn't me it would be someone else. I know that this is wrong.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • No, I have never been in that situation.

    Answer by MizLee at 8:12 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • In my opinion as long as two people are still in a relationship it is very wrong for one of them to stray. He needs to end his relationship before involving other women. As long as the other women are willing to help him cheat, he has no reason to end his relationship he is unhappy in. This is not fair to his fiance! You should tell him you are interested in hi but you can't have any kind of relationship with him until he ends the one he is in now.
    How do you think his fiance would fell if she found out he was cheating on her while she was working? Sometimes you need to put yourself in other people's position and see how you would feel if you were them.

    Answer by michelle5971 at 8:14 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  •  I am justifying it as their relationship is already flawed and if it wasn't me it would be someone else. I know that this is wrong.

    eye rolling


    Answer by Wimsey at 8:17 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Coming from "the wife", you cannot imagine the agony the two of you will cause. Not only for his wife, but also for his children if there are any. And take it from a good wife, our relationship wasn't flawed--he was. And think about it for a second, do you really want to build a life with a man who would cheat on the woman he's promised to marry? That doesn't sound like any man I'd want to be're better than that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Oh I don't want a relationship with him that's for sure. And I was engaged once and my ex used to talk to other women but that was only part of our problem.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:53 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • why are you self sabotaging with a man who has PROVEN TO YOU he is NO GOOD? that is really what you need to ask yourself. why dont you think YOU are worthy of a man with some morals and values, respect towards his partner? I am more concerned with your lack of self esteem than anything else

    Answer by katiPeas at 8:56 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • ..♥Long ago b4 i was married i was (the other women)..i was told lies thow and that they were not together really ..they were only together for the children..i met her once she was very nice and sweet..i was in it for funn i made it very plain that i was not looking for love or a long term relashinship just someone to hang out with ect...come to find out my concience started bothering me and i realized that this was all wrong..he had told me he loved me and i WOKE up and realized that i didn't want this to happen...he had 2 kids and i didn't want to be the one to break up a family....i told him goodbye and that he truly needed to wake up and see what he had already and try to fix i am years later married with 4 kiddo's and i actually looked him up and found that he finally married this lady that he was with a few years ago and they truly look happy and im glad it all worked out for him!!

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 8:59 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I was the other woman. yeah, I was that dumb. The reason why I did it was that he said that he was having deep marital problems, and wanted a woman who wanted him, that he could have children with. All of it was a lie. Reason, I got pregnant from the relationship. His wife called me and screamed at me. Then he called too and told me that it was over between him and me. I was the fool. And wound up wasting a lot of my time trying to recover emotionally (and as well as terminating the pregancy). The man was foreign, so getting child support from his country would be impossible. I'm not stable in my life to be a single mom, too much in transition to be pregnant. It would have been a very unhealthy and stressful pregnancy.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 9:07 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • it is not worth it. you are helping him cheat,so u are just as guilty. its wrong of u to do that. i would sure hate to be his fiance ;maybe all excited planning my wedding ,busting my behind working the night shift (maybe overtime)to pay for wedding expenses and some woman who KNOWS about me is still spreading eagle for my man... hmmmm . it would be a bit different if u DID NOT know about her (not right) but just different. what u are doing is pure evil. hopefully another woman never does the same to u when u have a man that means the world to u. karma.....

    Answer by maya123 at 10:01 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • obviously she doesnt mean the same to him or he wouldnt do it. im not gonna be the one to tell her hes like this but she should know.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:07 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

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