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2 Bumps

What does it mean for you when your daughter has a boyfriend?

Does it just mean extra monitoring, and a certain amount of worry? Does that ever go away? Every time my DD has a boyfriend, they (16) spend lots of time chatting on Facebook, wanting to get together, and there seems to be a fair bit of ignoring others (esp. family) around her. It is quite consuming and it worries me, and I believe it should be something that fits into her life, but not become a priority. What do you think? Do you ever just say, no, you can't get together with so and so this time, or talk for hours online?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Teenagers are teenagers, they OFTEN have major issues with balancing things. flush of hormones, love, affection, the strong overwhelming desire to always talk to ,be with, etc thier love interest. I woudl definitely be a parent here and place some limits withijn reason. its not healthy for ANYONE to spend HOURS online. including we cafemommies who tend to do it too much as well.
    katiPeas

    Answer by katiPeas at 8:23 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • They're only 16 once, let them enjoy it.
    Waxing_Lyrical

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 8:50 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • It's totally normal for teenagers (or anyone in a new relationship) to be consumed with that relationship It's our responsibility as parents to monitor & set limits. My kids had a time limit for things like video games, computer time & television time, but they had that limit even when they weren't "in a relationship" so it didn't cause problems when they were. They also didn't have internet service in their bedrooms til they were 18, all internet access was in public areas. Everyone's cell phones got turned off & put in a basket near the table at dinner time so that we all spent that time together, & if grades dropped, I'd check texting history to make sure that texting wasn't going on during class time, or for too many hours after school....to exclude homework.

    On school nights, we had earlier curfews, later on the weekend, & there were times we said "no" you've been out with your girlfriend enough, you can't go this time
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:55 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • it means be aware and open for almost anything
    chanchan522

    Answer by chanchan522 at 9:43 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Less sleep and more gray hair
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 11:16 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • It mean being there to talk and getting more gray hair.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:36 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • teenagers are really different now we really have to monitor them for them to be in good hands but i know that there will be a time that we have to let go..just be there as a MOM and everything will be fine....
    neng999

    Answer by neng999 at 5:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My son has his first gf this year, and I do worry about different things like. I have always had a good relationship with him, I do trust him so there is no change in the amount of monitoring but we definitely have much deeper conversations. I like his gf and they seem to have the same goals and priorities, which is a blessing I think. They are both good students and focus on school and have agreed if one starts to slip in grades they will stop seeing each other until their grades are back up. They spend time together on the weekends, one night at our home typically. I have said no to him on occassion in regard to spending time with her. Sometimes when his lifes gets too hectic and I notice he's too busy for family, I simply ask him when in all of this do you plan to spend time with me? He always makes adjustments to fit me in. I think setting boundaries and talking more are important once relationships start to forming
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:15 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • This is normal. How about trying to set up one day a week that you do something with her, no cell phones, no internet, no boyfriend. Tell her you just want to keep up with her life and as long as she goes along with it, she is free to have a boyfriend.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:38 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I don't have a daughter, but if I did, it would mean sitting on the front porch with a shotgun when the boyfriend arrived. Not that I'd shoot him or anything, but just scare him enough to make sure he was doing the right thing. LOL I'm soooo glad I have a son!
    FroggyFeet

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 7:58 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

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