Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

My son lives in Fla and him and his gf had a baby in April, she is almost 7 months now. I went to vist her a couple months ago. Now they are coming up to NJ for a visit and I wanted to have her stay over night but the mother says no because she does not know me. That she will wake up in a strange place and cry for her mom. I feel hurt by this and want to spend time with her how else will she get to know me? Am I wrong for being upset that she won't let the baby stay?

Answer Question

Asked by Grandmafish at 11:58 AM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Some parents just don't feel comfortable letting their babies stay places, especially that young & that far away. Maybe you should plan more get togethers or something and let the baby get a bit older.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:00 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Yes, you should have them all stay. I can completely understand why she would not want to leave her 7 month old for the entire night. You can either have them all or have them visit during the day. Where are they staying?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Why would only the baby be staying and not the parents? Some of my children have never stayed the night anywhere. Including grandmas house. But if they are all coming for a visit then invite them all to stay that will ease moms mind and you will get the much needed time with your new grand baby.

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 12:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • No, you're not wrong for being upset at all. Your feelings are valid & you want to be in this child's life. BUT, you have to understand where the mother is coming from too. Mothers of babies are overly protective, as they should be. I would take it as a grain of salt & just keep telling her how much you would like the baby to spend the night one day. She will come around & there is PLENTY of time for you to bond with the child. It's not now or never, so don't worry about it. You can still spend time with her during the day with family. Maybe the mom will let you take the baby to the park or a walk, or you can just care for the baby & love on her when mom is around. If the mom is actually seeing you do a wonderful job with the baby, maybe she'll change her mind. You don't have to be alone with the baby to bond with her. Let the mom see how much you actually love her. That will impact mom's judgement greatly.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:05 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I would not have wanted my baby to spend the night away from me at that age either, but she didn't need to say that it was because she didn't know you , and you should have plenty of time to bond during the day.

    Answer by peace013 at 12:07 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Why aren't they all staying with you? You can be upset but she is the mom and gets to decide what is best for her child. Offer to babysit so they can go out for a nice dinner as a couple and bond that way. Have them all stay at your house while there.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:11 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Why don't you have them all stay,, you can't really be mad, new mommies sometimes feel uncomfortable letting their babies away from the night, this is probably a good sign that she takes good care of her kiddo! All babies are different, my son would let anyone hold him and my nephew is a total mamma's boy, just love the baby up, and perhaps the next visit, she will feel more comfortable!!

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:14 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I can see both sides, you want to be able to have time with the baby and feel hurt that you are not being allowed to have her and mom is concerned that you are a 'stranger' and your house would not be familiar to baby. I don't know if the baby is nursing or formula fed, but if she is nursing that might complicate overnight plans as well. Do you have enough room that you can have them all stay with you? If not maybe you could ask for the baby and mom to come and spend an afternoon with you so you can get to know both of them and they can get to know you.

    Answer by MizLee at 12:15 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My parents live far away. We Skype with my parents1-2 times a week. So, while we don't get together very often, when we do, our daughter instantly knows Grandma. (And has little use for me! lol!!) Even so, there is no way in the world I'd have let my 7 month old sleep over at my mother's house without me. At least, not without spending time there together, and being there as back up, to make sure my babe was settled in there.

    Answer by Airamana at 12:22 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I agree, I don't see why they wouldn't all stay the night. Babies have schedules and routines and if she wakes up in the night and doesn't see her mommy or daddy coming to her as is the norm she could very well freak out. My daughter is 10 months old and hasn't slept at my own mothers house without at least me yet.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 12:23 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.