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Would you stay or go?

You've been married for 10 years and have 4 kids. Your oldest is 8 and your youngest is 2. You care for your dh, but don't love him anymore. You feel lonely and depressed around your dh. Would you stay in the marriage till your children got older or look into divorce? It has nothing to do with counseling, you don't love your dh, you feel like you married the wrong person.

 
twinmama2five

Asked by twinmama2five at 1:58 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,667 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Marriage takes WORK, and it takes 2 to do the work. its a committment you dont just walk away from because you are struggling. a woman or man who feels this way should open up to thier spouse, maybe seek counceling and get some help to figure out what is missing in thier life or relationship with thier spouse that they NEED . Love and romance wax and wane in long term marriages. it is not always apple pie and ice cream.
    katiPeas

    Answer by katiPeas at 4:23 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Leave never ever stay because of the kids, they will hurt with you, My aunt did that. She didn't love him anymore but stayed for her kids.

    They are now 27 and up. she has 3 kids. They started asking when the youngest was 18 why didn't you leave him... all of her children knew she was not happy, and for all them years she thought she was doing something right..

    I still am still in love with mine, but we are separated and we need counsling. If that does not help, we will go our separate ways. I pray every night we get back together but am prepared if we don't. I was not happy and depressed... Good luck!!!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:08 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I think that if you are not in love, you stay til you are in a spot where you can leave financially and emotionally. That gives you time to be sure that is really what you want to do, but if you stay and know you are not in love you are only prolonging the inevitable and you may miss out on your life and maybe something wonderful.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 2:10 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • You have your children to think about and a divorce will ruin their lives. It isn't fair to them for you to turn their worlds upside down because you think you made the wrong choice. This is going to sound harsh, I am sorry, but you made the choice to have children. So truthfully, come what may in your marriage, with a few exceptions like abuse, you need to stay with him and put your children first. Leaving him because you picked the wrong mate should have been done before the innocent souls were involved and at this point it would only define your own character as extremely self-centered in my book.

    I would definitely recommend counseling so you can find a way to work through your unhappiness, but you need to stay for the sake of your children.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:12 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • leave dont stay its not worth it ur depression will get worse
    Sara_Carter

    Answer by Sara_Carter at 2:28 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • so because a person has children, they should suck it up deal with it? I disagree with that because sometimes people do not get along and for them to pretend to get along seems like you are living a lie and showing your children that it is okay to do that. I don't necessarily think you are ruining the life of your children by getting a divorce. Will it be easy? Hell no it won't! If the reasons to leave are because of boredom or something trivial, then yeah that is not right. But if you have tried and you know it is not working why drag out the pain for everyone. My parents divorced when I was a kid and really I can honestly say it was the best thing my mom did because I saw what she dealt with and she is far better off without my dad. It really depends on the circumstances and the parents. Children of divorced parents are not a minority anymore, sad yes, but not all single family homes are great either!
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 2:45 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • NEVER, ever stay for your kids. Believe me, they know more than you think and if you stay they will tell you years from now they have no idea why you didn't leave back then. It's harder on everyone to stay.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 2:48 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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